“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned,” she whispered.

The priest nodded kindly. “Tell me what’s troubling you, my child.”

She took a shaky breath.

“Father… I’m pregnant.”

The priest nearly choked.

“Pregnant?” he said. “My child, how did this happen?”

The blonde hesitated dramatically before answering.

“Well, Father… I think it must be the Second Coming.”

The priest froze.

“The… Second Coming?” he repeated.

“Yes.”

He rubbed his temples. “And what exactly makes you believe that?”

The blonde sighed as if she were explaining something painfully obvious to a small child.

“Because, Father, I swallowed the first one.”

The priest sat in stunned silence.

A full ten seconds passed.

Then he finally muttered, “My child, if that’s your understanding of theology…”

He paused, shook his head, and added:

“…then the church doesn’t need a miracle—it’s me who needs one.” 😆