At their Arizona retirement community, 79-year-old Earl leaned across the dinner table and whispered to his wife, June, “Cancel your plans, sweetheart. Tonight, I’m going to wear you out.”

June slowly lowered her fork.

“That’s quite a promise from a man who needs a rest halfway through putting on his socks.”

“I mean it,” Earl said. “I bought something to spice things up in the bedroom.”

“Finally!” June said. “What is it?”

“Black satin sheets.”

That evening, June walked into the bedroom and found Earl stretched across the new sheets, wearing a satisfied grin.

“Well, hello, handsome,” she purred. “Move over.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Every time I move, I slide toward the edge.”

June sat down to laugh—and promptly slid off the bed herself.

After ten minutes of crawling, grabbing, and trying to climb back on, they finally lay breathless on the floor.

Earl turned to her. “See? I told you I’d wear you out.”

June caught her breath.

“Next time, Casanova, just buy flowers. I like a little action, but I refuse to chase my husband around the bedroom unless he’s holding the last piece of cheesecake.”