An elderly American man shuffles into the kitchen where his wife is making breakfast. He looks absolutely amazed.
“Honey,” he says, “I think the Lord is looking out for my health in my old age. Last night, I went to use the restroom, and He literally performed a miracle. As soon as I opened the door, He turned the light on for me. And when I was done, He turned it right off!”
The wife pauses, sighs heavily, drops her spatula, and says:
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, George… you peed in the refrigerator again.”😂🤣
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Two friends are grabbing a coffee, and one looks completely devastated.
“What’s eating at you?” his friend asks.
The guy sighs deeply. “My wife got so mad at me last month that she put herself on a strict 30-day silent treatment. She hasn’t said a single word to me.”
The friend grins and says, “Man, you’re living the dream! Why do you look like your dog died?”
The guy looks up miserably and says, “Because the 30 days are up at midnight.”😂🤣
