LAHORE 08 April (Online): Singer Natasha Baig, known for her energetic live performances and powerful voice, has had a bumpy ride to success.
While her drive to make music gave her a lot to hold on to, it also deprived her of her father’s love.
Turns out the singer, hailing from Gilgit Baltistan, grew up facing abuse and judgement from those closest to her, including her father, who was a prisoner of the shallow societal constructs surrounding women in music.
Speaking about her music journey, her relationship with her father and her shift from cricket to music, Baig shared a lot of regrets and lessons she has learnt along the way on Mooroo’s podcast.
Baig, who used to be a cricketer by the name Natasha Zakir, left cricket because her father didn’t approve of her athletic career. “I was giving my aptitude test for MBBS because he wanted me to pursue it but I was depressed that a doctor’s degree stole sports from me. Sports was like a drug to me. But since music was also an interest, that passion took domination over everything else.”
Baig shared that she couldn’t pass any tests, but people in her community started recognising her talent and offered her gigs but alas – her father didn’t approve of this either. “I was more confident because of everyone’s praise. I had started singing Kailash Kher and Rekha Bhardwaj.”
Baig’s father’s paranoia about her singing passion was so strong that he once got “scary angry” when he thought she sang the 2010 song Tujhe Bhula Diya from Anjaana Anjaani. “He was visiting from Dubai and we were all sitting in the lounge and this song came on. My father was like ‘Did you sing this?’ and I said ‘no, of course not.’ and he wouldn’t believe it.
‘Don’t hide it from me’, he said and I tried to convince him saying, ‘Papa, it’s from India. This is from Bollywood. Who would call me to India? This doesn’t even make sense.’ But he got very angry. Really, really angry. It was scary,” she recalled, confused about whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.
Baig added that by that time, she had recognised her singing potential was God-gifted and by refusing this gist, she would be the most ungrateful person on the planet. “Today, when I see these new kids performing music and their parents coming to their shows, it hits me a lot. It makes me cry inside. I’m happy for them. It’s just all I ever wanted for myself as well,” she exclaimed. Baig also shared that she tried very hard to convince her father and even suggested that he come with her to auditions and studios so he can see the surrounding and people himself but he never agreed.
“For six years, my father and I weren’t on talking terms. I ventured into music by then and he was in Dubai. A cousin posted a video on Facebook and far-away relatives from extended families commented and tagged my father and bashed me. Children are very vulnerable and I feel like even if they do something wrong, their parents should speak to them instead of letting the whole world hate on them. But my father never approached me and said ‘I asked you not to do this. Why did you?’ No. He instead enabled everyone on that post. He joined them,” she cried.
Fighting back tears, she added, “I don’t have any hate or complaints now because he’s not alive anymore. He passed away in 2020 so it’s unfair to say these things but at least, parents nowadays should know what not to do with their kids. I started getting all these gaaliyan from my father.
Buhat buhat gandi gaaliyan – the ones that I can’t even imagine someone it. A lot of things remained unsaid between me and my father, all because of the society, of relatives and silly strangers.”
Baig added that now, the same relatives who were against her, contact her.
“I wanted to prove him and everyone who was against me wrong. I wanted to tell him that it was wrong. Just because I’m a girl and I’m from Hunza, I can’t pursue music? Why? There’s nothing wrong with it. I wanted to be the bearer of change and that happened to some extent. Now, I feel very happy when people use the hashtags #DaughterofGilgitBaltistan because that means I proved my point,” she smiled.
About why Baig is moving to Lahore, the singer revealed that her recent Punjab Group of Colleges (PGC) tour influenced that decision. “I had lesser shows in Punjab before PGC, especially in Lahore. I’d just perform in Islamabad, Multan, and maybe Bhourban but not Lahore. And PGC takes you all over Punjab—even to places you wouldn’t even know about and that’s great penetration,” she said, adding that getting into the program was particularly difficult for her since she was based in Karachi and they specifically look for people from Lahore.
“It’s like how Coke Studio is important for a singer in this country. In my opinion, PGC is also important for mass penetration because you get to see a huge crowd of youth,” Baig exclaimed while telling the story of how she started PGC from merely 10-15 shows to doing extra shows upon the management’s demand. “They probably did not know me as a live performer at that time,” she said.
Surprisingly, Baig started off her music with English songs and not Urdu or songs in her regional language. “I started with English songs, not because I wanted to be burger or cool but because when our Eastern traditional music is difficult. When I look at Abida jee, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Sajjad Ali, you can’t imagine yourself singing that way,” she said, adding that she grew up watching Disney shows and felt dissociated with Coke Studio and local music back in the day.
“Miley Cyrus was my age so maybe I connected with her because of that but she also has her own tone. I grew up listening to Lata Mangeshkar and women in music had this shrill voice and I didn’t so that’s also why I felt like I didn’t belong.”
The musician revealed that late pop icon Michael Jackson was her idol.
“Michael Jackson’s death also affected me a lot. The craze for live performances that I have is inspired by him. Obviously, I don’t exactly perform like him but that passion for a larger-than-life performance comes from his music. Today, if people talk about my live performances then that credit goes to Micheal Jackson. He’s like my spiritual teacher.”
Baig recalled a time in life when her parents separated and she had to work while being in university to pay rent at home. It’s not that they weren’t able to afford it, but her father thought it was a sane “punishment” to not pay any childcare at home and cut off all financial ties. “The struggle for financial independence made me suicidal at times,” she paused.
“When I talk about these struggles in interviews, a lot of people from my life reach out and tell me that I shouldn’t say all of these things. Why Shouldn’t I? I’m not trying to make myself or someone else a villain here.
I just want to tell people that I was going through hell,” she exclaimed. “I want people to know that parenting is a big responsibility.”
On a lighter side, Mooroo asked Baig about her plans for marriage.
“There’s no one in my life currently but I know that marriage is important so I’ll do it. For now, my music is my husband. And I don’t want a musician as a husband. I want that whenever I fall in love, it should be mutual.”
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