PESHAWAR, Apr 15 (APP): Abandoned by families due to societal pressure and the stigma associated with their nontraditional gender identity, the transgender community becomes overwhelmed with the sentiments of nostalgia during the holy month of Ramazan, wishing to return to the time when they used to do sehari with parents, siblings and childhood friends.
A number of transgender arrange collective iftari (breaking fast) to overcome the memories haunting their mind, especially during Ramazan when they used to live with family and broke fast along with relatives.
“I was only thirteen years old when I left my home while realizing rejection by family to my gender and after the passage of around twenty years has not returned back to home,” shares Muskan, a transgender dwelling in Peshawar.
Belonging to the Parachinar area of Kurram District, Muskan said she only knows her parents died a few years earlier and was totally unaware of the well-being of her siblings.
“I have accepted this life of rejection by society and family, but still the bond of kinship haunts my mind, reminding me of good old times when I was a member of my family,” says Muskan with a gloomy face.
In Ramazan, especially at the time of Iftari, I breakfast with tears in my eyes, recalling the time when my mother used to offer me different things to eat, adds Muskan while wiping off tears from her cheeks.
We are not happy with the life we are spending but are compelled to do so because of rejection by family, she complained.
It merits a mention here that transgenders are people who were considered male at the time of birth and later come to identify as women and are rejected by family and society due to the complexity of their gender.
“I once tried to go back and reunite with family on the occasion of the marriage of my sister around four years earlier,” informs Gul Goshai, a transgender living in Gul Bahar area.
On reaching home, my father expressed resentment and asked whether he will accommodate me with male guests or female.
“There are a lot of guests who come to attend marriage and your presence will be an insult for the whole family, especially for the bride in front of her in-laws,” Gul Gohsai recalls the sarcastic remarks she had to listen to on return home.
“This was a very difficult time of life and the instant feeling that came into my mind was that I would have not been born to face this sort of humiliation and rejection by family,” shares Gul who lost her composition and start weeping while sharing memories.
“For the last 38 years, I am observing fasting without family and every year missed my relatives and friends,” says Farzana Riaz, President Transaction, an organization representing thousands of transgender and intersex community.
We are living away from family to avoid their insult in society, but our hearts are always filled with memories of the time we spent with them.
In Ramazan this feeling of nostalgia becomes stronger and the longing of meeting with parents and siblings keeps us hurting, Farzana expressed her inner feelings.
“The month of Ramazan is very difficult for us to spend without family”, comments Katrina while talking with APP.
“I missed a lot the loaf of bread prepared by my mother for me at Sheri and the different dishes she prepared for Iftari,” says Katrina in a choked voice.
Katrina was worried about the observance of Eid-ul-Fitar, which is also a very difficult day for the transgender community to spend in isolation.
People visit the houses of their relatives for the Eid celebration, while we the transgender community just embraces roommates for exchanging greetings on the religious festival with films of memories coming to mind about the enjoyment of religious festivals we cheered during our childhood.
On Eid day, I visit the graves of my parents in Mardan, but did not meet with siblings because of their rejection, Katrina told APP.
She said this is a plight of almost all of the members of transgender community who are living a very difficult life.
Katrina urged religious scholars to play their role in educating people about the rights of transgender who are the creature of God and complexity in their gender is natural not optional.
Similarly, she added, government should also take measures for ensuring rights of transgender for providing them an honorable place in society.
Living in seclusion after rejection from families and society is very difficult and being a human being we also deserve equal rights and respect, Katrina remarked.
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