Everyone has their ideas about an ideal holiday. Some dream of an all-inclusive hotel with 3 meals a day and the sea at a walking distance. Others dream of new cities and countries, and an ideal walk for them is at least 20,000 steps a day. But both can bring back a million-dollar story from their holiday — and sometimes those stories become unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
1.
We booked a 2-story room with a kitchen in the hotel. We arrive — the stove doesn’t work, the washing machine doesn’t work, there is a microwave, but there are no dishes. We go to the reception to ask how so. They shrug and say, “Yes, nothing is connected, it’s all marketing.” We honestly thought they were joking at first. But no — they had knowingly rented out expensive “fully equipped” rooms where absolutely nothing worked. We stood there speechless, exhausted after the flight, realizing we’d paid extra for decorations. It was good that it was the end of the season, so we just moved to another hotel. Otherwise, I can’t imagine how furious we would’ve become after a week there.
2.
We were on a beach holiday with my boyfriend. On the fourth day, he began to behave strangely. We went to a cafe, sat at the table, and he was looking at me intently, almost waiting for something. I couldn’t understand what he wanted. I even thought maybe I’d said something wrong earlier. Suddenly it struck me: they announced the date on the radio. It was his birthday! I felt terrible for forgetting his birthday. On holiday, you lose track of time. For a few horrifying seconds, I thought our romantic vacation was about to turn into a breakup trip. Luckily, he laughed when he saw the panic on my face and said he’d been waiting all day to see when I’d remember.
3.
I had a problem at passport control after dyeing my hair from blonde to brunette. The officer refused to recognize me in my passport. He stared at me, then at the photo, then back at me again like I was some kind of criminal. A line started forming behind me, people were sighing impatiently, and I honestly thought I might miss my flight over hair dye. Thankfully, there was a female officer in the next window. She looked at my passport, then at me, then at her colleague, sighed deeply, and gave me back my passport. I’ve never been so relieved to walk away in my life.
4.
I spent my long-awaited holiday last year in an unforgettable way. I was supposed to have a 2-week holiday to take a break from work and decided that I would go traveling by car. I booked hotels and planned the route for months. I even made playlists for the road. And on the first day of my holiday… I got chicken pox. There’s nothing better than lying in a stuffy flat with a fever while your packed suitcase stands untouched near the door. And trying to find a position that doesn’t hurt. And you can’t wash or eat properly because you have blisters even on your tongue. The worst part was hearing my friends send photos from their own trips while I counted spots on my skin and prayed for the itching to stop.
5.
We stayed in a 5-star hotel. So the maid washed glasses (from which we drank only water) with the same chemicals she washed the toilet with — the smell can’t be confused. I wouldn’t be surprised if she used the same sponge. After that discovery, every meal felt like a survival challenge. We started secretly buying disposable cups because suddenly the luxury hotel didn’t feel luxurious anymore.
6.
This summer we were on holiday in a hot country. I was sunbathing with my boyfriend by the pool. I asked him to take a photo of me. So while I was trying to take a panther pose, I leaned on the back of the sunbed, which under my weight flipped backwards, and I flew with it, taking an acrobatic pose. It happened so fast that for a second I genuinely thought I was falling into the pool. As a result, I was lying on the ground upside down, the bed was above me, there were a lot of tourists around staring at me in shock before some started laughing, and I felt both funny and embarrassed. Anyway, I didn’t get a photo that day. And I’m more careful with sunbeds now.
7.
My friend decided to surprise his wife with a romantic holiday by the sea, but his mother-in-law suddenly joined the trip. On the first night, the mother-in-law got poisoned with local delicacies and stayed in the toilet all night. The walls in the hotel were apparently very thin, so nobody slept either. And the next day she lost her dentures in the sea, so there was additional fun in the next couple of days — they searched for “treasure” in the sea while she shouted directions from the shore. She couldn’t eat normally, got irritated constantly, and blamed everyone for distracting her while searching. You can’t tell what they had more — pain or laughter. As a result, instead of romance, my friend got an invaluable experience: never… no, NEVER go to the sea with your mother-in-law.
8.
We were in Egypt once. The food was not very good, and everyone was begging for money. There was a moment: we got off the bus, I didn’t want to wait for the driver to take my suitcase out, so I took it out myself, and the driver brazenly snatched it out of my hands and held out his hand, implying, give me a tip. At first I thought he was joking, but then he tightened his grip and refused to let go. My husband had to intervene because the driver didn’t want to give the suitcase back. For a few tense moments, it honestly felt like we were negotiating for the return of a hostage.
9.
My friend and I were on holiday in Cyprus for the first time. We were given a beautiful room, and the buffet was wonderful. We spent the entire trip whispering to each other that this “3-star hotel” felt suspiciously luxurious. When we were leaving, we were seen off by the same manager who checked us in. And I asked, “We lived in a 3-star hotel, what do your 5-star hotels look like?” And he replied calmly, “You lived in a 5-star hotel. When you arrived, there were no 3-star hotels available, so I put you in a 5-star hotel.” We stood there frozen for a second, trying to process that we’d accidentally been living in luxury the entire time without realizing it.
10.
My sister and her boyfriend went to Turkey on holiday. Since her boyfriend didn’t speak English really well, my sister filled in all the paperwork. She put the arrival cards in their passports, gave him his passport and they went to the passport control. He went through it first without any problems. She followed him. She decided to double-check her passport, opened it, and realized it was his passport. Her heart nearly stopped. Strangely enough, there were no questions to her either. To this day, we still wonder whether the officer didn’t notice or simply didn’t care enough to start paperwork.
11.
My husband and I were in a hotel in Sharm El-Sheikh. We went for a walk around the hotel territory in the evening. The lights on the paths were installed very close to the ground, and some of them were not working. Because of this, the pavement at times was a black hole, where you couldn’t see a thing. So I take a step and suddenly disappear into an open square well they hadn’t closed after some repairs. It happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to scream properly. It was good that my husband had a great reaction: he grabbed my hand and then pulled me out of the well. But I fell to my full height and scratched myself on some iron. Good thing I didn’t break anything. We went to the reception, explained the situation, and showed the injuries. No reaction. Then in the afternoon, we saw that this hatch was still open, as if nobody cared that someone else could fall in next. We avoided the place afterward like it was cursed.
12.
We were on holiday in Rome. Some newlyweds were staying with us in the hotel, they were young and funny. And they went on a tour of Pompeii. They distributed headphones, so you could walk around and listen. Suddenly, the newly married husband got lost, and they searched the ruins for an hour and a half. His wife was weeping all this time, convinced something terrible had happened to him among the ancient ruins. And the whole bus of tourists was angry that they were delayed and stranded under the hot sun. When he finally appeared, dirty, confused, and completely calm, everyone wanted either to hug him or strangle him. But in the evening, when they told us this story themselves, the 4 of us laughed for a very long time.
13.
We are having dinner at an all-inclusive hotel. I see a woman at the neighboring table keep bringing food: a full plate of cakes, fruit, meat, and chicken. Naturally, almost everything was left on the table untouched. It honestly looked like enough food for several people. They got up to leave, and I couldn’t stand it and said, “If it’s free of charge, it doesn’t mean you can send it to trash.” And she said coldly, “My dear, go to reception and complain about it. See what they’ll tell you.” The confidence in her voice stunned me more than the waste itself.
14.
We were on holiday in Vietnam. Sunbeds on the beach had a fee, of about $1. A woman about 60 years old came up to us and asked, “Can I lie nearby?” We didn’t understand what she meant, so we let her. And this lady lay down right next to my sunbed in the shadow of my umbrella, probably to save some money. And so she lay there all day… silently listening to all our conversations and occasionally sighing dramatically whenever we moved. We couldn’t even talk because we could disturb her. So, she had money for an expensive trip, but not for civilized leisure on the beach. By the evening, it felt less like a holiday and more like we’d accidentally adopted a very strange beach relative.
