After thirty-four years of marriage, an Arizona couple, Frank and Linda, decided they needed a new adventure.
Linda suggested a cruise.
Frank suggested buying a ranch and starting a bull-breeding business.
“A cruise costs money,” he explained. “Bulls make money.”
“So does renting out your side of the bed,” Linda said. “And the paperwork would be easier.”
But Frank had already bought a cowboy hat, which meant the business was practically established.
They drove out to meet a rancher near Tucson who was selling three breeding bulls.
The first bull was young, handsome, and restless.
“This fellow can service twenty cows a month,” the rancher said.
Linda slowly turned toward Frank.
“Twenty.”
Frank pretended to inspect a fence.
The rancher led them to the second bull, a huge animal standing proudly in the shade.
“This one can manage forty cows a month.”
“Forty!” Linda exclaimed. She gave Frank a meaningful nudge. “Are you listening?”
“I’m listening,” Frank muttered. “So is everybody in Arizona.”
Then they reached the third bull, an older animal with an enormous chest and the calm confidence of someone who had never once been asked to explain where he had been all evening.
“This is our champion,” the rancher announced. “Sixty cows a month.”
Linda grabbed Frank’s arm.
“Sixty! Frank, that’s twice a day!”
Frank finally looked at the rancher.
“Same cow every time?”
“Oh, no,” the rancher said. “Different cows.”
Frank turned to Linda.
“Are you listening?”
The ride home was unusually quiet.
Eventually, Linda said, “We’re buying the older bull.”
“Why that one?”
“Experience. Reliability. And apparently he still takes his job seriously.”
They bought the ranch, purchased the champion, and named him Romeo.
Frank ordered a sign for the entrance:
FRANK’S PREMIER BREEDING RANCH
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
Linda added a smaller sign underneath:
GUARANTEE APPLIES TO THE BULL ONLY.
Unfortunately, Romeo’s first week was a disappointment.
He ignored the cows.
He ignored Frank.
He stood under a mesquite tree looking as though he had retired to Arizona specifically to avoid responsibility.
Frank was devastated.
“We paid a fortune for him!”
Linda folded her arms. “Maybe the hat impressed me more than it impressed him.”
They called the vet, who examined Romeo and gave Frank a small bottle of tonic.
“Give him a dose each morning,” the vet said. “It should help.”
By the following afternoon, Romeo was a changed animal.
He trotted across the pasture, charmed every cow on the ranch, pushed through a loose gate, and went calling on the herd next door.
Frank watched in amazement.
“That tonic is unbelievable!”
Linda watched in thoughtful silence.
That evening, their neighbor Earl stopped by.
“Heard your bull’s finally earning his keep,” Earl said.
“Earning his keep?” Frank replied. “He’s expanding the business without consulting management!”
“What did the vet give him?”
“Some tonic.”
“What’s in it?”
“No idea.”
“Does it smell bad?”
“Not really.”
“What does it taste like?”
Frank answered without thinking.
“Mostly peppermint.”
Linda slowly lowered her coffee cup.
Earl slowly removed his hat.
Frank stared at both of them.
“I checked it for the bull,” he said.
“Of course you did,” Linda replied.
The next morning, Linda was dressed beautifully, wearing perfume and holding Frank’s cowboy hat.
“What’s all this?” he asked.
“I’ve booked us a lovely dinner in Tucson.”
“But we need to stay here and supervise Romeo!”
Linda placed the hat on his head and smiled.
“Romeo has already visited three pastures, broken two fences, and brought the neighbors together.”
She handed Frank the car keys.
“After thirty-four years, sweetheart, I’d like to see what peppermint can do for management.”😂
