A lonely 70-year-old widow decided it was finally time to marry again. After years of quiet evenings and empty mornings, she wanted companionship, but with clear boundaries. So she placed an ad in the local newspaper that read:
“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”
The very next day, the doorbell rang. Curious and a little nervous, she opened the door. To her surprise—and dismay—there sat a gray-haired gentleman in a wheelchair. He had no arms and no legs.
Staring at him in disbelief, she blurted out, “You’re not seriously expecting me to consider you, are you? Just look at you—you don’t even have legs!”
The old gentleman gave a warm smile and replied calmly, “Exactly. Which means I can never run around on you.”
She frowned, arms crossed. “But you don’t have any arms either!”
Still smiling, he answered, “Which means I could never raise a hand to hurt you.”
Now intrigued despite herself, she leaned in and asked the last, most important question: “Well then… are you still good in bed?”
The old man leaned back in his chair, his eyes twinkling, and with a mischievous grin said:
“My dear, I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
