I was preparing to go cash a paycheck when I realized my husband hadn’t signed it. Since I was already running late, I quickly sent our four-year-old daughter upstairs to “get Daddy’s name on the back of it.”
A few minutes later, she came back downstairs, handed me the check, and looked incredibly pleased with herself.
I glanced at the back of the check and immediately noticed something different.
She had printed, in large, careful letters: “D-A-D.”
I stared at it for a moment, then asked, “Honey, where did you learn to spell Daddy’s name?”
She smiled proudly and said, “I knew his name, so I did it myself.”
It was definitely kid stuff—but I had a feeling the bank teller was going to have a few questions.
A Very Dirty Little Fellow Came in From Playing in the Yard and Asked His Mother, “Who Am I?”
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, “Who am I?”
Ready to play along with him, she said, “I don’t know! Who are you?”
The boy stared at her for a second, apparently taking her answer very seriously.
Then his eyes widened.
“WOW!” he cried. “Mrs. Johnson was right!”
His mother looked confused. “What did Mrs. Johnson say?”
The boy grinned proudly.
“She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn’t recognize me!”
Exam Scare
Father to son after the exam: “Let me see your report card.”
The son suddenly became very interested in anything except the report card.
“My friend just borrowed it,” he said.
The father raised an eyebrow. “Your friend borrowed your report card? Why?”
The son sighed.
“He wants to scare his parents.”
Young Wisdom
A man was invited to dinner at the home of a new friend. While they ate, the new friend’s small son kept staring at the guest without saying a word.
At first, the guest tried to ignore him, but eventually the boy’s intense stare became impossible to overlook.
Finally, the guest smiled and asked, “Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?”
The boy looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before answering.
“Daddy told me you were a self-made man.”
The guest smiled proudly. “I am.”
The boy frowned, studied him from head to toe, and then delivered his verdict.
“Well, why did you make yourself like that?”
Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “No. Say Daddy.”
Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “Crap! Say Daddy!”
Baby: “Crap!”
Dad froze.
“What did you say?”
The baby happily repeated, “Crap!”
The father looked horrified. “What did you say?”
“Crap!”
Just then, the front door opened.
Mom: “I’m home!”
The baby immediately looked toward her and shouted, “Crap!”
Mom stopped in her tracks.
“What? Where did you hear that?”
The baby pointed straight at his father without hesitation.
“Daddy.”
The father stared at the baby in complete disbelief.
For once, he had nothing to say.
