A police car pulls up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and Grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park… and couldn’t find his way home. “Oy, Morris,” said Grandma, “You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you possibly get lost?”
Leaning close to Grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear, Morris whispered, “I wasn’t lost… I was just too tired to walk home.”
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved, “I love you, Sally.” For a moment, they stood there remembering the days when they were young and had no idea that six decades later they would still be holding hands. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money—fifty thousand dollars! Jerry stared at the cash in disbelief and said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and they knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.
One said, “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Jerry said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”
The first police officer immediately turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, a blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, “Mr., you’re losing part of your load.”
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of the car and runs up to the driver’s window again. “Mr., you’re losing part of your load.”
The same thing happens for seven stops. Each time, the blonde becomes more determined to warn the driver, and each time the truck continues on its way. Finally, at the eighth stop, the blonde comes running up to the truck driver’s window. Before she could say anything, the driver sighed, lowered his window, and said,
“MA’AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE. I’M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK!”
