A man is in bed when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, pulling the blanket over his head and hoping whoever is outside will eventually leave.
But moments later, a louder knock echoes through the house. This time, it is impossible to ignore.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife, annoyed by the noise.
The man sighs, drags himself out of bed, and slowly makes his way downstairs. The cold floor beneath his feet and the darkness of the hallway make him question why he ever agreed to get up.
He opens the door, and there is a man standing on the porch. It doesn’t take the homeowner long to realise the stranger is completely intoxicated. He is swaying slightly and struggling to keep his balance.
“Hi there,” the stranger slurs.
“Can you give me a push??”
The homeowner stares at him in disbelief. “No, get lost! It’s half past three in the morning. I was in bed,” he says, and quickly shuts the door.
He walks back upstairs, climbs into bed, and tells his wife what happened. She looks at him with disappointment.
“That wasn’t very nice of you,” she says. “Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter? You had to knock on a stranger’s door to get help and get our car started again. What would have happened if that man had told us to get lost?”
The husband sighs. “But the guy wasn’t even in his senses,” he argues.
“It doesn’t matter,” says his wife. “He needs our help, and helping someone who is stranded is the right thing to do.”
The man knows she is right. With another tired sigh, he gets out of bed again, puts on his clothes, and heads downstairs.
He opens the front door, but the porch is empty. The street is silent, and the stranger is nowhere in sight.
Not wanting to give up, he steps outside and calls out, “Hey, do you still want a push?”
For a few seconds, there is only silence.
Then a voice cries out from the darkness, “Yeah, please!”
The man looks around but still cannot see the stranger. Confused, he shouts, “Where are you?”
And the man replies, “Over here, on the swing.”
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, “Trick or treat?”
I looked at him and asked, “What have you come as?”
He looked proud and replied, “A werewolf.”
I looked him up and down and said, “But you’re not wearing a costume. You’ve just got your normal clothes on.”
He shrugged and said, “Yeah, well, it’s not a full moon yet, is it?”
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. The entire neighbourhood was asleep, and he carefully moved through the darkness, trying not to make a sound.
Suddenly, just as he reached for an expensive television, he heard a voice from the corner of the room.
“Jesus is gonna get you.”
The robber froze. His heart raced as he slowly turned around, but he saw nothing except a small parrot sitting inside a cage.
He laughed nervously, shook his head, and grabbed the TV.
Again, the parrot cried out, “Jesus is gonna get you.”
The robber stopped. This time, the warning sounded a little too clear. He stepped closer to the cage and looked at the bird.
“What’s your name, birdie?” he asked.
The parrot calmly replied, “Moses.”
The robber smirked. “What kind of dumbass named you Moses?”
The parrot tilted its head and answered, “The same dumbass who named his Rottweiler Jesus.”
