After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa finally decided that spelling it out would be easier. “A for apple,” he began. “P for pineapple, P for pineapple, A for apple, P for pineapple, P for—”
The flustered agent interrupted him before he could finish.
“I have a better idea,” she said. “Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples.”
Little Johnny wasn’t very good at spelling. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word “new” on the blackboard.
“Now,” she asked Johnny, “what word would we have if we placed a ‘K’ in the front?”
Johnny stared at the word for several seconds, thinking as hard as he could. Finally, he confidently answered, “Canoe?”
Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel receptionist’s sigh had a definite tinge of exasperation in it when she answered.
“We have over 300 guests at this facility,” she said.
I paused, then asked, “Does this ‘Jim’ have a last name?”
Jake came rushing in to his dad, puffing and out of breath.
“Dad!” he exclaimed. “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”
“That’s what they say,” his dad replied.
“Well, give me an apple quick!”
His dad looked at him suspiciously. “Why?”
Jake pointed toward the street.
“I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”
Customers can be so innocent that sometimes even the simplest questions turn into something completely unexpected.
Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700-2300 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries. Can you help?”
Operator: “Where did you get the number from, sir?”
Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Centre.”
Operator: “Sir, those are our opening and closing hours.”
A prince was put under a spell so powerful that he could speak only one word each year.
If he didn’t speak for two years, however, the following year he could speak two words. If he remained silent for three years, he would eventually have three words to use, and so on.
One day, the prince fell deeply in love with a beautiful lady. He immediately decided that he would save his precious words so he could eventually tell her how he felt. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so that he could call her, “My darling.”
But as the second year ended, he realized that simply calling her “my darling” wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, so he waited three more years, carefully guarding every word.
At the end of those five years, he knew he wanted to ask her to marry him. But that would require even more words. So he waited another four years, enduring year after year of silence while the woman he loved remained completely unaware of what he was planning.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence came to an end, the prince took the lady by the hand and led her to the most romantic place in the kingdom. The moon was shining, the stars were bright, and he knew that this was the moment he had been waiting for.
After nine years of silence, he finally had all the words he needed.
He looked deeply into her eyes and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
The lady stared at him for a moment, completely puzzled.
Then she smiled politely and said, “Pardon?”
