A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, “Not until you feed the animals.”
The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, “I don’t feel like feeding you today.” So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig.
The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he’s hungry. His mother says, “I saw you kick the chicken, so you’re not getting any eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so you’re not getting any milk, and I saw you kick the pig, so you’re not getting any bacon.”
Just then, the boy’s father walks down the steps, still half asleep. He trips over the last step and accidentally kicks the cat.
The boy immediately looks at his mother, his eyes widening. After a moment of silence, he whispers, “Mom, should I tell him?”
A very drunk man turns up at his house at six o’clock in the morning with his hair and clothes completely dishevelled.
His long-suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, rushes to the door and shouts at him furiously, “I hope you have a very good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!”
The man steadies himself against the doorframe, looks at her with complete seriousness, and replies, “Yes. I’d like some breakfast!”
One summer evening, a three-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother looked at him suspiciously, wondering what had suddenly inspired his unusual offer, and said, “No, but I appreciate your asking.”
The child thought about this for a moment, nodded solemnly, and responded, “Well, I appreciate your saying no.”
The elephantine memory
A man visits India and meets an old man at the Town Square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
Curious to test the old man’s legendary memory, he asks him what he had for breakfast on the same day fifteen years earlier.
“Eggs,” replies the old man without hesitation.
The man scoffs at this, saying that everyone eats eggs for breakfast and that remembering such a common meal proves nothing. Convinced the old man has simply guessed, he laughs and walks away.
Ten years later, he returns to India and happens to see the same old man standing in the exact same spot in the Town Square. Remembering their strange conversation, he approaches him with a grin and asks, “How?”
The old man takes one long look at his face. Then, without the slightest hesitation, he calmly replies,
“Scrambled.”
