A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked into the office and confidently said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
The clerk looked up from his desk, confused but polite, and said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man scratched his head, looked uncertain for a moment, and replied, “I’ll go check.”
He walked back out to the pickup truck, where his friend was waiting. After a brief conversation, he returned to the office and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”
The clerk nodded and began writing down the order.
“All right. How long do you need them?”
The customer paused, staring into the distance as if this was a much more complicated question than it seemed. After thinking for a while, he finally said, “I’d better go check.”
A few minutes passed before he came back into the office. The clerk looked up, expecting another correction.
The customer smiled and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
A truck was traveling through town when the driver stopped at a red light. Suddenly, a blonde woman jumped out of her car, ran up to the truck, and waved frantically.
“Mr.,” she shouted, “you’re losing part of your load!”
The truck driver glanced behind him but couldn’t see anything unusual. Before he could respond, the woman jumped back into her car and followed him.
At the next red light, the same thing happened.
She rushed up again and shouted, “Mr., you’re losing part of your load!”
The driver looked increasingly puzzled, but the light changed, and the truck moved on.
This continued for seven more stops. Each time, the blonde woman jumped out, ran toward the truck, and repeated the same warning.
Finally, at the eighth stop, the truck driver had enough. Before she could even open her mouth, he rolled down his window and said,
“MA’AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE. I’M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK…”
The blonde woman froze for a moment, finally realizing what had been happening all along.
A blonde woman sat at a bar, hunched over her martini, intensely focused on one tiny olive floating inside the glass. She repeatedly tried to spear it with a cocktail stick, but every attempt failed.
The olive slipped away again and again.
A dozen tries later, a man sitting beside her watched the struggle and finally reached over. With one quick motion, he grabbed the stick and speared the olive perfectly.
“That’s the way to do it,” he said proudly.
The blonde looked at him, unimpressed.
“Big deal,” she replied. “You’d never have gotten it unless I’d tired it out first.”
Two blondes were driving along a country road beside a large wheat field. Suddenly, they spotted another blonde in the middle of the field, sitting in a rowboat and rowing through the wheat.
The driver stared in disbelief.
She turned to her friend and said, “You know, it’s blondes like that who give us a bad name!”
Her friend nodded seriously and looked back at the strange sight.
“I know it,” she replied. “And if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”
Two blondes were standing in a parking lot, struggling to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
The first blonde pulled and twisted the hanger in frustration.
“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”
The second blonde glanced around nervously and looked up at the dark clouds gathering overhead.
“Well, you better hurry up,” she said.
“It’s starting to rain, and the top is down!”
