Wife: “Honey, can you please help me clean the garden? It’s getting out of control, and I can barely see the flowers beneath all those weeds.”
Husband: “Do I look like a gardener?”
Wife: “Oh, sorry, honey! I didn’t realize gardening was beneath your royal duties. Okay, then, could you at least fix the bathroom door? It’s been squeaking for weeks, and I’m tired of struggling with it every time I go in.”
Husband: “Do I look like a carpenter? Why don’t you stop bothering me with all these jobs? I have better things to do!”
With that, the husband grabbed his keys, straightened his shirt, and confidently walked out of the house, leaving his wife standing in the doorway, staring at him in disbelief. He had absolutely no intention of lifting a finger to help.
A few hours later, he finally returned home, expecting to find his wife still struggling with the chores. But the moment he stepped into the garden, he froze in astonishment. The weeds were gone, the flowers were neatly arranged, and the entire garden looked as though it had been professionally landscaped. Then he noticed something even more shocking: the bathroom door was perfectly fixed, swinging open and closing without a single squeak.
Husband: “Well, well! I knew my wife would eventually do all this herself! She always finds a way to get things done when I refuse to help!”
Wife: “Actually, honey, it wasn’t me.”
Husband: “What? Then who on earth did all this?”
Wife: “Our neighbor.”
The husband’s smile instantly disappeared. His eyebrows shot up, and he stared at her suspiciously.
Husband: “OUR NEIGHBOR? What do you mean, our neighbor? Why would he come over and do all these jobs for you? And, more importantly, how much did you pay him?”
Wife: “Oh, I didn’t pay him anything, honey. He offered to do everything for free.”
Husband: “For FREE? Nobody does all that work for free! What did he want in return?”
The wife smiled innocently, folded her arms, and looked him straight in the eye.
Wife: “Well, he gave me two options. He said I could either give him some bread or have sex with him.”
The husband’s jaw dropped. His face turned red, and he nearly choked on his own words.
Husband: “BREAD? I sincerely hope you gave him bread, sweetheart! Please tell me you gave him bread!”
The wife tilted her head, gave him a mischievous smile, and delivered the final blow.
Wife: “Bread? Honey, do I look like a bakery?”
