Most people didn’t enjoy math in school—numbers, fractions, and percentages aren’t exactly easy. Little Johnny was no exception, and his poor multiplication skills got him into trouble. He came home looking defeated and told his dad, “I got an F in math today.”
His dad frowned and asked, “What happened? Don’t tell me you forgot everything you studied.”
Johnny explained, “The teacher asked, ‘What’s 3 times 2?’ I said 6.”
His dad nodded proudly and replied, “That’s correct. So why would she fail you?”
Johnny continued, “Then she asked, ‘What’s 2 times 3?’”
His dad threw his hands in the air and shouted, “What’s the difference?”
Johnny grinned from ear to ear and said, “That’s exactly what I said!”
Another joke: A man had a terrible habit of letting out loud, unbelievably smelly farts every morning, and his wife had finally reached the end of her patience.
She warned him over and over that one day he was going to “blow his guts out,” but he only laughed and ignored her. Thanksgiving morning finally gave her the perfect opportunity for a harmless prank. While he was still asleep, she quietly stuffed a handful of turkey innards into the front of his underwear, then waited as calmly as if nothing had happened.
A little while later, she heard a bloodcurdling scream from the bathroom, followed by complete silence. Minutes dragged by, and she could barely contain her laughter as she wondered how he was reacting.
Eventually, he slowly came downstairs, pale, shaken, and looking as though he’d just survived the most terrifying experience of his life. Leaning close so no one else could hear, he whispered, “Honey… you were right. I really did blow my guts out…”
He paused dramatically, took a deep breath, and added, “But with some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got them all back in.”
