A husband takes his wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it everything he’s got. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, spins, and moves that seem almost impossible for a normal human being. He has the entire dance floor watching, and the crowd keeps cheering every time he pulls off another outrageous move.
The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? Twenty-five years ago he proposed to me, and I turned him down!”
The husband watches the man perform another spectacular move, then looks at his wife with a completely straight face and says, “Looks to me like he’s still celebrating!!!”
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
His wife immediately looked horrified. “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband calmly nodded and said, “I know all that.”
“Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife, completely baffled by his decision.
The guy smiled and answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
The bride kissed her father and quietly placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room noticed it, and suddenly a strange silence fell over the wedding ceremony. Guests began whispering to one another, wondering what the bride had just given her father.
The father could feel the suspense in the air, and with all eyes on him, everyone waited for him to reveal the secret. He looked around the room, smiled proudly, and finally announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life.”
Then he slowly raised his hands, revealing what his daughter had just given him, and said, “My daughter has finally returned my credit card to me!!!”
The whole audience burst into laughter and applause. The bride laughed too, while several guests shook their heads knowingly. Everyone seemed delighted by the unexpected revelation.
Everyone, that is, except the groom.
Jim had an awful day fishing in the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single fish. Hour after hour passed, and despite his best efforts, his fishing line remained stubbornly empty. By the time he finally gave up, he was tired, frustrated, sunburned, and completely empty-handed.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and went straight to the seafood counter. He ordered four large catfish and then told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”
The salesman stared at him in confusion. “Why do you want me to throw them at you?”
Jim lowered his voice and explained, “Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
The salesman thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout.”
Jim frowned suspiciously. “Why’s that?”
The salesman leaned closer and said, “Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take the orange trout.”
Jim suddenly went quiet.
“That’s what she’d like for dinner tonight.”
