After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Fifty years ago, we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night. Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed, and a large-screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.’ I said it half-jokingly, half-testing my luck, expecting at least a mild protest… but there was a strange pause in the air that made me suddenly regret my honesty.
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She didn’t shout. She didn’t argue. Instead, she just looked at me with that calm, knowing expression that usually means trouble is coming. Then she told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Her voice was so steady, so certain, that for a moment I actually pictured it all happening exactly as she described. I quietly stopped talking. Aren’t older women great? They know how to solve an old guy’s problems.”
An old married couple went camping.
An old married couple was going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and fell asleep, surrounded by an eerie stillness of the wilderness. In the middle of the night, the wife suddenly woke her husband and said, “Look at the stars and tell me what you see.” Her tone had a strange urgency, as if she had noticed something he hadn’t.
The husband replied, rubbing his eyes, “I see millions and millions of stars.” He paused, squinting deeper into the night sky as if trying to find meaning hidden between them.
The wife said, “And what do you make of that?”
The husband replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars and even some of them have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.” He seemed quite pleased with his thoughtful conclusion, waiting for approval.
There was a slight pause before the wife said, “No, honey, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
