My sister understands everything! A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather’s farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister.
He told her that he had discovered a man-eating chicken somewhere near the barn. The girl’s eyes widened with terror. She immediately ran inside, convinced that a dangerous creature was loose on the farm. Her brother laughed to himself, pleased with how easily his trick had worked. But only moments later, he heard his little sister scream.
He ran inside immediately. She was standing in the kitchen, pointing in horror at their grandfather, who was calmly chewing down on a plate of fried chicken. “What is it?” he asked, already worried that something had happened.
The sister turned to him in fear and said, “It—it’s—it’s IT’S A MAN-EATING CHICKEN!”
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, “Nobody loves me…the whole world hates me!”
Her mother tried to comfort her, but her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her. Mary waited for him to say something kind, hoping at least her little brother would understand how terrible she felt.
Instead, he passed on this encouraging word…
“That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you.”
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting the country’s armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. He wanted to personally meet the recruits and discover what skills they could bring to the military. As he and his staff were standing near a brand-new F-15 fighter jet, a pair of twin brothers walked up to them. The chief of staff stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man looked at him confidently and said, “I’m a pilot.”
The general got all excited. He turned to his aide and said, “Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!” The aide immediately hustled the young man off, eager to make sure they didn’t lose such an obviously valuable recruit. The general then looked at the second young man and asked, “What skills can you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man calmly said, “I chop wood.”
“Son,” the general replied, sounding almost disappointed, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force. This is the 20th century!”
“Well,” the young man said, “you hired my brother!”
“Of course, we did,” said the general, completely puzzled by the young man’s response. “He’s a pilot!”
The young man rolled his eyes and said,
“You’re not getting it. I have to chop it before he can pile it!”
“Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?”
“Because I helped her.”
“But that is a good thing!
What did you help her with?”
“I helped her eat her gummy bears.”
