At Sunday dinner, Linda announced that she was retiring from doing everything around the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom tomorrow, I\u2019m charging. Laundry, ten dollars. Cooking, twenty. Cleaning up after your father, fifty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her husband, Bob, lowered his fork.<\/p>\n
\u201cFifty? What makes me so expensive?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThirty years of evidence.\u201d<\/p>\n
Their grown children laughed.<\/p>\n
Bob folded his arms. \u201cFine. I\u2019ll start charging too. Fixing things, twenty dollars. Carrying groceries, ten. Killing spiders, five.\u201d<\/p>\n
Linda nodded. \u201cExcellent. Your account is currently worth five dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about the shelf I fixed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt leans.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe groceries?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou left them in the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe spider?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOur granddaughter killed it. You held the flashlight and screamed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Determined to prove his value, Bob spent Monday cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, and preparing dinner.<\/p>\n
That evening, he handed Linda an invoice.<\/p>\n
Household services: $85.<\/strong><\/p>\n Linda inspected the sparkling kitchen and smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, this deserves a reward.\u201d<\/p>\n Bob straightened his collar. \u201cSomething romantic?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cClose your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n He obeyed eagerly.<\/p>\n She slipped something into his hand.<\/p>\n He opened his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cA hundred-dollar bill! You\u2019re giving me a tip?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo. I\u2019m paying in advance for tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Bob sighed. \u201cI was hoping we might rekindle the spark.\u201d<\/p>\n Linda kissed his cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cDarling, you\u2019ve just discovered where the spark has been hiding. Under the laundry.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span>\ud83e\udd23<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At Sunday dinner, Linda announced that she was retiring from doing everything around the house. \u201cFrom tomorrow, I\u2019m charging. Laundry, ten dollars. Cooking, twenty. Cleaning up after your father, fifty.\u201d Her husband, Bob, lowered his fork. \u201cFifty? What makes me so expensive?\u201d \u201cThirty years of evidence.\u201d Their grown children laughed. Bob folded his arms. \u201cFine. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37071,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n