The teacher said to the children:
\n\u201cIn a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep are left behind?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNone,\u201d little Jim said.<\/p>\n
\u201cNone?\u201d the teacher asked, surprised. \u201cJim, you\u2019re clueless in math.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you, miss, are clueless about sheep! As soon as the first sheep jumps out, the others will follow as well!\u201d<\/p>\n
Jim and Edna were both patients at a mental hospital. Everyone at the hospital knew they were close friends, and although their unusual way of thinking often confused the doctors, they seemed to understand each other perfectly.<\/p>\n
One day, Jim jumped into the hospital swimming pool but didn\u2019t come back up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna saw her friend in trouble, dove into the water, and pulled him out. The staff rushed over, and after making sure Jim was safe, everyone praised Edna for saving his life. Later that afternoon, the hospital director called Edna into his office and said, \u201cEdna, I\u2019ve got some good news and some bad news.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe good news is that we are releasing you because you have clearly demonstrated that you are capable of recognizing danger and saving another person\u2019s life. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no,\u201d Edna replied sadly. Then, after a moment, she added, \u201cThat\u2019s where I put him to dry!\u201d<\/p>\n
Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, were sitting in a bar, enjoying a few beers. Jim suddenly turned to Bob and said, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to go to college!\u201d<\/p>\n
He then left the bar and made his way over to the local college, determined to learn something new and prove that he could handle higher education.<\/p>\n
He was met by the Dean of Administration, who began explaining to Jim what classes he would be taking. \u201cAll right, Jim. You\u2019re going to take four classes,\u201d the Dean said.<\/p>\n
\u201cEnglish, Math, Science, and Logic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLogic?\u201d Jim asked. \u201cWhat the hell is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere, I\u2019ll give you an example. Do you own a weed whacker?\u201d<\/p>\n
Proudly, Jim responded, \u201cYes, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you own a weed whacker, then logically speaking, you own a lawn,\u201d the Dean explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, yes, I do have a lawn!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you have a lawn, then logically speaking, you own a house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, yes, I do have a house!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if you have a house, then logically speaking, you have a family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, yes, I do have a family!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if you have a family, then logically speaking, you have a wife. And if you have a wife, then logically speaking, you\u2019re heterosexual.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, yes, I do have a wife, and I am heterosexual! Wow, I can\u2019t believe you figured all of that out just because you knew I had a weed whacker!\u201d Jim exclaimed, amazed by what he had just learned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s what logic is,\u201d the Dean replied with a smile. Jim was so impressed that he hurried back to the bar, eager to show Bob what he had learned. Bob was still sitting there, waiting for him.<\/p>\n
\u201cBob, I\u2019m taking four classes in college,\u201d Jim announced proudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cEnglish, Math, Science, and Logic,\u201d Jim told Bob.<\/p>\n
\u201cLogic?\u201d Bob asked. \u201cWhat the hell is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere, I\u2019ll give you an example.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you own a weed whacker?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jim thought for a moment, then nodded knowingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you\u2019re gay.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The teacher said to the children: \u201cIn a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep are left behind?\u201d \u201cNone,\u201d little Jim said. \u201cNone?\u201d the teacher asked, surprised. \u201cJim, you\u2019re clueless in math.\u201d \u201cAnd you, miss, are clueless about sheep! As soon as the first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":35944,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n