{"id":34688,"date":"2026-08-27T16:17:21","date_gmt":"2026-08-27T11:17:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pni.net.pk\/us\/?p=34688"},"modified":"2026-08-27T16:17:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-27T11:17:21","slug":"three-confused-men-one-unstoppable-cat-and-a-wife-who-got-the-last-laugh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pni.net.pk\/us\/three-confused-men-one-unstoppable-cat-and-a-wife-who-got-the-last-laugh\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Confused Men, One Unstoppable Cat, and a Wife Who Got the Last Laugh"},"content":{"rendered":"

Confused Man<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d Johnny said to one of his friends, his voice unusually serious. \u201cI got a letter from a guy who said he\u2019d break my legs if I didn\u2019t stop seeing his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d replied his friend cautiously, \u201cI guess you\u2019ll have to stop seeing his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy for you to say,\u201d Johnny muttered, looking genuinely troubled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou like her that much?\u201d the friend asked, raising an eyebrow.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that,\u201d declared Johnny. \u201cI could stop seeing her. That isn\u2019t what scares me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Johnny swallowed hard and held up the threatening letter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said he\u2019d break my legs if I didn\u2019t stop seeing his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight,\u201d his friend said. \u201cYou already told me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Johnny lowered the letter and stared at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but there\u2019s something else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

Johnny\u2019s face went pale.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t sign his name.\u201d<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

This guy\u2019s wife gets a cat, and from the very beginning, he absolutely hates it. The cat follows him around the house, jumps onto his favorite chair, scratches at the doors, and seems to stare at him as though it knows exactly how much he dislikes it. His wife, naturally, adores the animal and refuses to hear a single bad word about it.<\/p>\n

So one day, while his wife is gone to work, the guy finally decides he has had enough. He puts the cat in the back seat of the car, drives a few blocks away, and lets the cat out. He watches from the car for a moment to make sure it disappears down another street, then drives home, satisfied that the problem is finally solved.<\/p>\n

When he gets home, the cat is sitting calmly on the front porch.<\/p>\n

The man freezes.<\/p>\n

He looks at the cat.<\/p>\n

The cat looks back at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cImpossible,\u201d he mutters.<\/p>\n

The next day, the guy waits until his wife leaves for work again. This time, he throws the cat in the car, drives a mile away from the house, and tosses the cat out. He watches until it vanishes around a corner before driving home, convinced that there is no possible way the animal can find its way back.<\/p>\n

When he gets home, the cat is sitting there again on the front porch.<\/p>\n

The man stares at it in disbelief.<\/p>\n

The cat casually licks one paw.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it,\u201d the guy growls. \u201cYou\u2019re not beating me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, the guy is furious. He spends the entire evening thinking about what to do next. If the cat can somehow find its way home from a few blocks away, then tomorrow he\u2019ll make absolutely certain it has no chance of following him.<\/p>\n

So the next day, he waits until his wife leaves for work, throws the cat in the car, and drives as far and as fast as he can. He takes every strange turn he can think of, doubles back, circles around unfamiliar streets, crosses through different neighborhoods, and even takes several roads he has never driven on before. He is determined to confuse the cat completely.<\/p>\n

Finally, miles and miles from home, he pulls over, gets the cat out of the car, and lets it go.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere,\u201d he says triumphantly. \u201cGood luck finding your way back now.\u201d<\/p>\n

He gets into the car and heads home.<\/p>\n

But after driving for a while, his confidence begins to disappear.<\/p>\n

The roads look unfamiliar.<\/p>\n

He takes another turn.<\/p>\n

Then another.<\/p>\n

He slows down, checks the signs, and realizes he has absolutely no idea where he is.<\/p>\n

He tries another road, but somehow it only makes things worse.<\/p>\n

By the time afternoon arrives, the man is completely lost.<\/p>\n

Finally, his wife comes home and answers the ringing phone.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s her husband.<\/p>\n

She immediately notices the panic in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n

There is a long silence.<\/p>\n

Then he asks, very seriously, \u201cIs the cat there?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looks toward the porch.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she says. \u201cThe cat\u2019s right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy lets out a huge sigh of relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank goodness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then he says, \u201cI\u2019m lost.\u201d<\/p>\n

There is another pause.<\/p>\n

\u201cPut the cat on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

A man was in a bar with his buddies, recounting the events of the previous week. It had been payday the previous Friday, so he had decided to stay out with his friends for a spot of drinking. One drink became another, another became several, and before he knew it, an evening out had turned into an entire weekend of partying. He only returned home late on Sunday night, fully aware that his wife\u2019s inevitable wrath was waiting for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy wife wasn\u2019t too pleased that I didn\u2019t show up for a whole weekend,\u201d he said, shaking his head as his buddies laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did she say to you?\u201d asked one of his friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she just nagged me for what seemed like an eternity,\u201d he replied. \u201cShe went on and on about responsibility, marriage, respect, and how I could possibly disappear for an entire weekend without even calling.\u201d<\/p>\n

His buddies chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what happened?\u201d another asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, at one point, she stopped talking, looked straight at me, and asked how I\u2019d like it if I didn\u2019t see her for two or three days.\u201d<\/p>\n

His friends immediately became interested.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what did you say?\u201d they asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told her it would be fine by me!\u201d<\/p>\n

The men at the table burst out laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo did she leave?\u201d one of them asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, no, she didn\u2019t leave,\u201d the man replied, taking another sip of his drink.<\/p>\n

His buddies looked confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man slowly shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut the joke\u2019s on her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n

He leaned forward, lowered his voice, and said, \u201cOn the third day, my left eye opened up a little bit.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Confused Man \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d Johnny said to one of his friends, his voice unusually serious. \u201cI got a letter from a guy who said he\u2019d break my legs if I didn\u2019t stop seeing his wife.\u201d \u201cWell,\u201d replied his friend cautiously, \u201cI guess you\u2019ll have to stop seeing his wife.\u201d \u201cEasy for you to say,\u201d Johnny […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":34689,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\nThree Confused Men, One Unstoppable Cat, and a Wife Who Got the Last Laugh<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Confused Man \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d Johnny said to one of his friends, his voice unusually serious. \u201cI got a letter from a guy who said 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