Two men, one American and one East Indian, were sitting in a bar, drinking shot after shot. The Indian man finally sighed and said, \u201cYou know, my parents are forcing me to get married to this so-called homely girl from a village whom I haven\u2019t even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don\u2019t want to marry a woman whom I don\u2019t love. I told them that openly, and now I have a hell of a lot of family problems.\u201d<\/p>\n
The American nodded sympathetically. Then, with a strange smile, he said, \u201cYou think you have family problems? Talking about love marriages\u2026 I\u2019ll tell you my story.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for three years. Everything seemed perfectly normal at first. But after a couple of years, my father fell in love with my stepdaughter and married her. Suddenly, my father became my son-in-law, and I became my father\u2019s father-in-law. Legally, my daughter became my mother, while my wife became my grandmother.<\/p>\n
The problems only became more complicated when my wife and I had a son. My son was my father\u2019s brother, which meant that my own son was also my uncle. I could barely explain the family tree without giving myself a headache. Then things became even more bizarre when my father and his new wife had a son.<\/p>\n
That child was my father\u2019s son, making him my brother. But because my father was also my son-in-law, his son was somehow my grandson as well. By that point, nobody in the family could figure out who was related to whom without drawing a diagram.<\/p>\n
\u201cUltimately, I discovered that I had become my own grandfather\u2014and, somehow, I was also my own grandson. And you think you have family problems\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The Indian man stared at him in complete silence for several seconds. He slowly lifted his glass, took another drink, and muttered, \u201cYou know what? Maybe my parents are right. I\u2019ll take the village girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
A lady had a height problem. She was TOO tall, being exactly 2 meters tall.<\/p>\n
She hated the way she had to duck to walk through a doorway, the way she felt so uncomfortable in a car, and how every pair of trousers seemed to end several inches above her ankles. She had tried everything, but nothing seemed to help. Finally, desperate for a solution, she visited an expert.<\/p>\n
The expert listened carefully, scratched his chin, and then said, \u201cGo visit the Dwarven Town. It\u2019s full of dwarfs. Find any dwarf and ask him if he\u2019ll marry you. Every time a dwarf says \u2018no,\u2019 you will grow 10 centimeters shorter!\u201d<\/p>\n
The woman stared at him. \u201cThat\u2019s your solution?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds strange,\u201d the expert admitted, \u201cbut it works. Just keep asking until you get the result you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
The lady did as she was told.<\/p>\n
She went to the Dwarven Town and found a dwarf. She nervously approached him and asked if he would marry her. He looked up at her, shook his head, and simply said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Immediately, she felt something strange happen. She looked down and realized she had become 10 centimeters shorter.<\/p>\n
Excited, she quickly repeated the act with another dwarf. Once again, he refused.<\/p>\n
Another 10 centimeters disappeared.<\/p>\n
Now only 180 centimeters tall, she decided to ask one more dwarf and then go home. She took a deep breath, walked confidently toward a third dwarf, and asked, \u201cWill you marry me?\u201d<\/p>\n
The dwarf looked her up and down, thought about it for a moment, and then replied, \u201cNo, no, no, no, no\u2026! I don\u2019t want to marry a tall person like you! You\u2019re too tall!<\/p>\n
No, no, no, no, no!\u201d<\/p>\n
The woman\u2019s eyes widened.<\/p>\n
For a moment, she thought she had discovered the secret to becoming the perfect height.<\/p>\n
Then she realized the dwarf wasn\u2019t refusing her once.<\/p>\n
He was refusing her five times.<\/p>\n
She suddenly looked down at herself and wondered just how short she was about to become.<\/p>\n
Two Jewish men knocked on Rabbi Levi\u2019s door. \u201cWhat can I do for you gentlemen?\u201d said the Rabbi once he opened his door.<\/p>\n
They explained to him that they had an argument and could not resolve it.<\/p>\n
The Rabbi agreed to help them. \u201cWhat is the argument about?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
The first man immediately said, \u201cBlack is a color!\u201d<\/p>\n
The second man shook his head. \u201cNO! It is not!\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man became even more determined. \u201cIt is a color!\u201d<\/p>\n
The second man turned toward the Rabbi. \u201cRabbi, is black a color?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, sure\u2026\u201d said the confused Rabbi.<\/p>\n
The first man smiled triumphantly. \u201cSee? I told you! And so is white!\u201d<\/p>\n
The second man immediately objected. \u201cWhite is not a color!\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man looked at the Rabbi again. \u201cRabbi?\u201d<\/p>\n
The Rabbi sighed, already beginning to regret getting involved. \u201cWell, yes, white is a color.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man turned to his companion with a huge grin. \u201cSee? I told you, Moishe!\u201d<\/p>\n
Moishe frowned. \u201cWhat exactly are you trying to prove?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man casually delivered the punchline.<\/p>\n
\u201cI sold you a color TV!\u201d<\/p>\n
For a few seconds, the Rabbi simply stared at him.<\/p>\n
Then he slowly closed the door.<\/p>\n
He had a feeling that if he stayed there any longer, they were going to come back with an argument about whether the remote control was a religious object.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Two men, one American and one East Indian, were sitting in a bar, drinking shot after shot. The Indian man finally sighed and said, \u201cYou know, my parents are forcing me to get married to this so-called homely girl from a village whom I haven\u2019t even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":34598,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n