Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench when a homeless man suddenly approaches them. \u201cHey!\u201d he bellows in his hoarse voice. \u201cI\u2019ve got a riddle for you two.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like SH*T?\u201d<\/p>\n
The Polish guys look at each other, completely puzzled. After a moment, one of them shrugs. \u201cI give up. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like SH*T?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou and your friend!\u201d the homeless man replies with a grin before staggering away, chuckling to himself.<\/p>\n
The Polish guys stare after him for a second, then burst out laughing. \u201cThat was a funny riddle that bum told us,\u201d one says. \u201cLet\u2019s go do it on someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n
Still laughing almost hysterically, they spot two American guys sitting nearby.<\/p>\n
They walk over to them with huge smiles on their faces. \u201cHey, guys!\u201d one of them says. \u201cWe\u2019ve got a riddle for you!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like SH*T?\u201d<\/p>\n
The American guys shrug, waiting for the answer. The Polish guys can barely contain their laughter. Finally, one of them smirks and proudly says, \u201cMe and my friend!\u201d<\/p>\n
The two American guys stare at them for a moment.<\/p>\n
Then one of them slowly looks at the other and says, \u201cI think they just got us.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Polish guys burst out laughing again, delighted that the joke had worked exactly as planned.<\/p>\n
**Had It All.** This morning, I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.<\/p>\n
I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He looked at me for a moment, then sighed as though he were remembering a completely different life.<\/p>\n
\u201cUp until last week, I still had it all,\u201d he said. \u201cI had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was working on my MBA online. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, \u201cWhat happened?<\/p>\n
\u201cDrugs? Alcohol? Divorce?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no, nothing like that,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
I leaned closer, expecting some heartbreaking story about bad luck or a terrible financial disaster.<\/p>\n
Instead, he looked at me completely calmly and said,<\/p>\n
\u201cI was released from prison.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sat there in silence for a moment, suddenly realizing that I had misunderstood almost everything he had just told me.<\/p>\n
**Hi there. I\u2019m Bob. I\u2019m 80.** Every morning, I sit on the same park bench and chat with my friend, Jim, who\u2019s a full seven years older than me. I\u2019ve always wondered where he gets all his stamina from\u2014he goes for a jog each day without fail before meeting me. And, amazingly, he\u2019s never out of breath.<\/p>\n
One fine day, I finally plucked up the courage to ask him, \u201cHey, Jim, how on earth do you have all that stamina at your age?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high, and you\u2019ll have great stamina with the ladies,\u201d Jim replied confidently.<\/p>\n
Intrigued by this remarkable discovery, I decided to visit the local bakery on my way home to find myself some Italian bread and, hopefully, get a vitality boost.<\/p>\n
As I looked around, trying to make sure no one caught on to what I was really doing, the lady behind the counter smiled and asked me if I needed any help.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you have any Italian bread?\u201d I asked sheepishly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d she replied. \u201cThere\u2019s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want five loaves.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy goodness, five loaves?\u201d she exclaimed.<\/p>\n
I nodded proudly, already imagining myself returning to the park the next morning with the stamina of a man half my age.<\/p>\n
The baker looked at me, then at the five loaves I had ordered, and gave me a sympathetic smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cBy the time you get to the fifth loaf,\u201d she said, \u201cit\u2019ll be hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
I froze.<\/p>\n
Then I understood exactly what she meant.<\/p>\n
I left as fast as my eighty-year-old legs could carry me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench when a homeless man suddenly approaches them. \u201cHey!\u201d he bellows in his hoarse voice. \u201cI\u2019ve got a riddle for you two.\u201d \u201cWhat has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like SH*T?\u201d The Polish guys look at each other, completely puzzled. After a moment, one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":34529,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34528","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n