When Joe\u2019s wife ran away with his car, his money, and his best friend, he became so depressed that his doctor finally sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe walked into the psychiatrist\u2019s office looking exhausted, defeated, and completely convinced that his life had come to an end. He told the psychiatrist everything that had happened and finally sighed, \u201cLife isn\u2019t worth living. I think I\u2019m gonna top myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t be stupid, Joe,\u201d said the psychiatrist. \u201cMy wife ran off and left me too, yet I\u2019m perfectly happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stared at him in disbelief. \u201cHow?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cEasy,\u201d replied the psychiatrist. \u201cI threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot about her. I kept myself so busy that I barely had time to think about anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded slowly, as if the psychiatrist had finally given him a reason to keep going. \u201cMaybe I should try that,\u201d he said. \u201cBy the way, what kind of work do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
The psychiatrist smiled proudly. \u201cI\u2019m a psychiatrist, Joe. Helping troubled people is what keeps me going. It gives me purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked thoughtful for a moment, then asked, \u201cAnd what exactly did you mean when you said you totally submerged yourself in your work?\u201d<\/p>\n
The psychiatrist shrugged. \u201cFiguratively, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n
There was an awkward silence.<\/p>\n
Then the psychiatrist asked, \u201cSo, Joe, what work do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe sighed and leaned back in his chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI clean out septic tanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
The psychiatrist stared at him.<\/p>\n
Joe stared back.<\/p>\n
For the first time that afternoon, the psychiatrist suddenly understood that perhaps he had chosen the wrong example.<\/p>\n
=============================================<\/p>\n
The Butcher They Sent to the Operating Room<\/p>\n
In order to pay his medical school tuition, Thomas Merrick was working two jobs over the summer.<\/p>\n
By day, he worked at LeClaire\u2019s Market\u2014a butcher shop. He wore a stiff white coat splattered with crimson and trimmed with fat, spending long hours cutting meat, sharpening knives, hauling boxes, and serving customers who rarely gave a second thought to what happened behind the counter. It wasn’t glamorous work, but the pay was decent, and Thomas was determined to save every dollar he could.<\/p>\n
By night, he transformed.<\/p>\n
Down at St. Ambrose Hospital, he traded cleavers for stretchers. As an orderly on the graveyard shift, his white coat was now clean and crisp, worn over hospital scrubs. There, instead of preparing cuts of meat, he moved patients through quiet corridors, helped nurses, transported equipment, and did whatever was needed to keep the night shift running smoothly.<\/p>\n
One night, long past midnight, Thomas was called to prepare a patient for surgery. Room 216. Elderly woman.<\/p>\n
Appendectomy.<\/p>\n
He arrived with his usual calm demeanor, smiled softly, gently eased the gurney beside her bed, and began helping the nurses ready her for the trip down to the operating room. The woman was pale and frail, almost disappearing beneath the hospital blankets.<\/p>\n
Her eyes fluttered open, cloudy but alert.<\/p>\n
Thomas spoke gently. \u201cGood evening, ma\u2019am. We’re going to take you downstairs now.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at him without responding.<\/p>\n
Thomas leaned in to adjust the straps on the gurney.<\/p>\n
Then the room froze.<\/p>\n
The woman\u2019s eyes locked onto his face.<\/p>\n
Her expression changed instantly.<\/p>\n
First confusion.<\/p>\n
Then recognition.<\/p>\n
Then absolute horror.<\/p>\n
Her lips began to tremble. She gripped the blanket with both hands, her breathing suddenly quickening. Thomas stopped and looked around, wondering whether she was in pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cMa\u2019am?\u201d he said. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn’t answer.<\/p>\n
Instead, she suddenly bolted upright with surprising strength.<\/p>\n
The nurses stepped back.<\/p>\n
Thomas reached out to steady her.<\/p>\n
That was when she screamed with the terror of a woman who believed her last hour had come.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod save me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Thomas froze.<\/p>\n
The nurse beside him froze.<\/p>\n
The woman pointed directly at him, her eyes enormous with fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the butcher!\u201d<\/p>\n
For several seconds, nobody said a word.<\/p>\n
Then one of the nurses slowly looked at Thomas.<\/p>\n
Thomas looked down at his spotless hospital coat.<\/p>\n
He suddenly remembered that the previous evening he’d forgotten to change his name tag from his job at LeClaire\u2019s Market.<\/p>\n
It read:<\/p>\n
**THOMAS MERRICK \u2014 BUTCHER.**<\/p>\n
The patient apparently hadn’t noticed the part about the hospital.<\/p>\n
She had only recognized the man who spent his days wielding knives.<\/p>\n
And suddenly, Thomas realized that explaining the difference between an appendectomy and a steak was probably going to be much harder than passing his next medical exam.<\/p>\n
=============================================<\/p>\n
The Nails That Were \u201cDefective\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lisa was nailing down house siding, working quickly as she reached into her nail pouch, pulled out a nail, and either drove it into the wood or tossed it over her shoulder.<\/p>\n
Judy watched her for several minutes.<\/p>\n
At first, she assumed Lisa was simply working quickly and didn’t think much of it.<\/p>\n
But then she noticed something strange.<\/p>\n
Every few nails, Lisa would pull one from the pouch, inspect it briefly, and casually throw it over her shoulder.<\/p>\n
After watching another perfectly good-looking nail sail through the air, Judy finally couldn’t stand it anymore.<\/p>\n
She stopped working and asked, \u201cWhy are you throwing those nails away?\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa didn’t even look up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end,\u201d she explained. \u201cSo I throw those away.\u201d<\/p>\n
Judy stared at her.<\/p>\n
She looked at the nails scattered on the ground.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at the house.<\/p>\n
Then back at Lisa.<\/p>\n
Finally, she exploded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou moron!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa stopped hammering and turned around.<\/p>\n
Judy pointed furiously at the discarded nails.<\/p>\n
\u201cThose nails aren’t defective!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa blinked.<\/p>\n
Judy shook her head in disbelief.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey’re for the other side of the house!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa slowly looked at the pile of nails behind her.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at the wall.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at Judy.<\/p>\n
There was a long, uncomfortable silence.<\/p>\n
Finally, Lisa shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell… that explains why there were so many of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Judy closed her eyes.<\/p>\n
At that point, she decided that perhaps the safest thing to do was let Lisa handle the hammer\u2014and keep her away from the blueprints.<\/p>\n
=============================================<\/p>\n
## The Safest Job in Chicago<\/p>\n
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was seriously considering quitting before he ever had to move there.<\/p>\n
When his co-worker asked why, he replied that he was simply too afraid of all the crime. He had heard countless stories about robberies, carjackings, shootings, and people getting mugged in broad daylight. Even though the transfer came with a huge salary increase and much better benefits, he said no amount of money was worth putting himself in danger.<\/p>\n
His co-worker told him he should reconsider.<\/p>\n
\u201cChicago is a magnificent city,\u201d he said. \u201cWorld-class museums, incredible history, beautiful sights, great restaurants, and excellent public transportation. You might actually love it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man still looked unconvinced.<\/p>\n
His co-worker continued, \u201cWhy, I myself worked in Chicago for almost ten years, and in all that time I never, ever had a problem with crime while I was working there.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally? Not once?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot once,\u201d the other replied confidently.<\/p>\n
The first man thought about it for a moment.<\/p>\n
Then he asked, \u201cWhat did you do there?\u201d<\/p>\n
The co-worker smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was tail-gunner on a bread truck.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man stared at him.<\/p>\n
The co-worker stared back.<\/p>\n
After a moment, the man slowly picked up his transfer papers.<\/p>\n
\u201cOn second thought,\u201d he said, \u201cmaybe I’ll take the job.\u201d<\/p>\n
He paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes the company have any openings for tail-gunners?\u201d<\/p>\n
The co-worker’s smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
And suddenly, that enormous salary increase didn’t seem nearly large enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When Joe\u2019s wife ran away with his car, his money, and his best friend, he became so depressed that his doctor finally sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe walked into the psychiatrist\u2019s office looking exhausted, defeated, and completely convinced that his life had come to an end. He told the psychiatrist everything that had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":34456,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n