Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave and romantic, decides to show everyone just how charming he can be. He looks at his girlfriend and says, \u201cCould you pass me the honey?\u2026Honey.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now, the second guy, clearly impressed and wanting to prove that he can be just as smooth, copies the first guy. With a confident smile, he turns to his girlfriend and says, \u201cCould you pass me the sugar?\u2026Sugar.\u201d<\/p>\n
So now, the third guy is under pressure. Both of his friends have managed to sound romantic, and everyone is waiting to see what he can come up with. He has to think of something good\u2014and he has to make it sound effortless.<\/p>\n
After a minute of serious thinking, he finally looks at his girlfriend and says, \u201cPass me the pork\u2026Pig.\u201d<\/p>\n
After browsing the restaurant menu for several minutes, I finally had a question for the waitress. I pointed to one of the more expensive dishes and asked, \u201cAbout the salmon entr\u00e9e, is that a steak or a fillet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNeither,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s a fish.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at her for a moment, wondering whether she was joking. She wasn’t. Apparently, after all my careful menu research, I had somehow managed to overlook the most important detail.<\/p>\n
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror.<\/p>\n
But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth. If you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first, standing confidently in front of the mysterious mirror.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019m the smartest woman on earth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPOOF!\u201d She disappears.<\/p>\n
The redhead goes up to try. She watches the mirror for a moment, then smiles confidently and says, \u201cI think I\u2019m the prettiest woman on earth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPOOF!\u201d She disappears.<\/p>\n
The blonde slowly walks up to the mirror. Now everyone is watching, wondering whether she will tell the truth or suffer the same fate as the other two. She takes a deep breath and begins, \u201cI think\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPOOF!\u201d<\/p>\n
A retired couple had dinner at their friends\u2019 house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went to the kitchen. The two men were talking comfortably, enjoying the quiet moment, when one of them leaned back and said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been going to a new restaurant and it\u2019s really great.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d recommend it very highly.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other man immediately became interested and asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the name of the place?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man thought awhile. He frowned, stared at the ceiling, and tried desperately to remember. Finally, he gave up and asked, \u201cWhat are those flowers you send a woman you love? The ones with red petals and thorns?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must mean roses,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it,\u201d said the man, suddenly relieved.<\/p>\n
He turned toward the kitchen and yelled to his wife, \u201cRose, what\u2019s the name of the restaurant we like?\u201d<\/p>\n
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. She was still feeling bloated from lunch, so she was already nervous about the possibility of farting in front of her date, who hadn\u2019t arrived yet. She kept telling herself to relax and act natural. Unfortunately, it wasn\u2019t long before she actually did let one out, but she managed to cover up the sound with a perfectly timed fake cough.<\/p>\n
She continued waiting for her date to arrive, trying to make sure everything was perfect. She checked her hair, straightened her dress, and glanced around to see whether anyone had noticed anything unusual. As she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly\u2014far louder than the first one\u2014just as the waiter walks up.<\/p>\n
She immediately sits up straight, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing that everyone in the place must have heard it. For a second, there is an awkward silence. Then she turns to the waiter and demands, \u201cStop that!\u201d<\/p>\n
The waiter looks at her dryly, without the slightest hint of surprise, and says,<\/p>\n
\u201cCertainly, madam.<\/p>\n
Which way was it headed?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave and romantic, decides to show everyone just how charming he can be. He looks at his girlfriend and says, \u201cCould you pass me the honey?\u2026Honey.\u201d Now, the second guy, clearly impressed and wanting to prove that he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":34055,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n