A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked into the office and confidently said, \u201cWe need some four-by-twos.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk looked up from his desk, confused but polite, and said, \u201cYou mean two-by-fours, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man scratched his head, looked uncertain for a moment, and replied, \u201cI\u2019ll go check.\u201d<\/p>\n
He walked back out to the pickup truck, where his friend was waiting. After a brief conversation, he returned to the office and said, \u201cYeah, I meant two-by-fours.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk nodded and began writing down the order.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right. How long do you need them?\u201d<\/p>\n
The customer paused, staring into the distance as if this was a much more complicated question than it seemed. After thinking for a while, he finally said, \u201cI\u2019d better go check.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few minutes passed before he came back into the office. The clerk looked up, expecting another correction.<\/p>\n
The customer smiled and said, \u201cA long time. We\u2019re gonna build a house.\u201d<\/p>\n
A truck was traveling through town when the driver stopped at a red light. Suddenly, a blonde woman jumped out of her car, ran up to the truck, and waved frantically.<\/p>\n
\u201cMr.,\u201d she shouted, \u201cyou\u2019re losing part of your load!\u201d<\/p>\n
The truck driver glanced behind him but couldn\u2019t see anything unusual. Before he could respond, the woman jumped back into her car and followed him.<\/p>\n
At the next red light, the same thing happened.<\/p>\n
She rushed up again and shouted, \u201cMr., you\u2019re losing part of your load!\u201d<\/p>\n
The driver looked increasingly puzzled, but the light changed, and the truck moved on.<\/p>\n
This continued for seven more stops. Each time, the blonde woman jumped out, ran toward the truck, and repeated the same warning.<\/p>\n
Finally, at the eighth stop, the truck driver had enough. Before she could even open her mouth, he rolled down his window and said,<\/p>\n
\u201cMA\u2019AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE. I\u2019M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde woman froze for a moment, finally realizing what had been happening all along.<\/p>\n
A blonde woman sat at a bar, hunched over her martini, intensely focused on one tiny olive floating inside the glass. She repeatedly tried to spear it with a cocktail stick, but every attempt failed.<\/p>\n
The olive slipped away again and again.<\/p>\n
A dozen tries later, a man sitting beside her watched the struggle and finally reached over. With one quick motion, he grabbed the stick and speared the olive perfectly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the way to do it,\u201d he said proudly.<\/p>\n
The blonde looked at him, unimpressed.<\/p>\n
\u201cBig deal,\u201d she replied. \u201cYou\u2019d never have gotten it unless I\u2019d tired it out first.\u201d<\/p>\n
Two blondes were driving along a country road beside a large wheat field. Suddenly, they spotted another blonde in the middle of the field, sitting in a rowboat and rowing through the wheat.<\/p>\n
The driver stared in disbelief.<\/p>\n
She turned to her friend and said, \u201cYou know, it\u2019s blondes like that who give us a bad name!\u201d<\/p>\n
Her friend nodded seriously and looked back at the strange sight.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know it,\u201d she replied. \u201cAnd if I knew how to swim, I\u2019d go out there and drown her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Two blondes were standing in a parking lot, struggling to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.<\/p>\n
The first blonde pulled and twisted the hanger in frustration.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t seem to get this door unlocked!\u201d<\/p>\n
The second blonde glanced around nervously and looked up at the dark clouds gathering overhead.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you better hurry up,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s starting to rain, and the top is down!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked into the office and confidently said, \u201cWe need some four-by-twos.\u201d The clerk looked up from his desk, confused but polite, and said, \u201cYou mean two-by-fours, don\u2019t you?\u201d The man scratched his head, looked uncertain for a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":33059,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33058","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n