Many parents claim that it\u2019s difficult only with infants, and when they grow up, it becomes easier. This is partly true: at least they become independent and parents finally have time to breathe, to sleep through the night, to drink coffee while it\u2019s still hot. But as children grow up, other storms arrive \u2014 teenage rebellion, painful silence, slammed doors, dangerous friendships, terrifying independence, and the heartbreaking realization that your child is no longer simply your little boy or girl, but a separate, self-sufficient human being with secrets, opinions, and a world that no longer revolves around you.<\/p>\n
And sometimes, just when you think you understand parenting, your teenager says or does something so unexpected that it leaves you speechless for days.<\/p>\n
1.<\/p>\n
I have 2 adult daughters, and I\u2019m embarrassed to say this, but I love one of them more than the other. You can throw stones at me, but it\u2019s impossible to love someone who constantly pushes you away.<\/p>\n
My elder daughter was a long-awaited child, but since she was a baby she has never been affectionate. Even as a toddler, she would pull away from hugs, avoid eye contact, lock herself inside her own little world. As she grew older, she became sharp-tongued, cold, sometimes even cruel without realizing how deeply her words cut. We tried everything \u2014 heart-to-heart talks, family trips, therapy, patience, softness. We tried to evoke empathy and tenderness in our daughter, but that\u2019s just the way she is. At the age of 18, she literally ran away from us and went to study in another city.<\/p>\n
She calls once every 3 months, comes once a year for her grandmother\u2019s birthday \u2014 because Grandma is the only person she openly adores. But she apparently doesn\u2019t love me or my husband. Every time the phone rings late at night, my heart still jumps, hoping it\u2019s her wanting to talk \u201cjust because.\u201d It never is.<\/p>\n
And I do love her. Deeply. Painfully. But much less than the younger daughter, who hugs me every morning, asks how my day went, and still calls me just to say goodnight. Maybe parents are not supposed to admit these things out loud. But sometimes the hardest part of motherhood is loving a child who keeps teaching you how unwanted you are.<\/p>\n
2.<\/p>\n
I always wanted to learn to do pull-ups, but I lacked motivation. Gym memberships bored me, workout videos annoyed me, and every attempt ended after three days.<\/p>\n
Now I have a teenage daughter.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s hard with her, but I love her very much and try to stay calm. Some days she\u2019s affectionate and funny, and other days it feels like every word I say is automatically wrong. One minute we\u2019re laughing in the kitchen, and the next she\u2019s yelling that I \u201cdon\u2019t understand anything about real life.\u201d<\/p>\n
So when my patience runs out and our dialogue becomes completely non-constructive, I do pull-ups. We specifically installed a doorway bar for this purpose after one particularly explosive argument about homework and curfews. I grab the bar before I say something I\u2019ll regret.<\/p>\n
Then I drink a glass of water. Steam comes out, my hands shake less, my anger dissolves somewhere between the fifth and tenth pull-up, and I\u2019m ready for dialogue again.<\/p>\n
Gradually reducing the load of the expanders, I\u2019ve learned to pull up without them.<\/p>\n
Ironically, my daughter has no idea she\u2019s the reason I\u2019m now in the best shape of my life.<\/p>\n
3.<\/p>\n
My older sister limits her son\u2019s computer time. Every evening, when he sits down at the computer, she controls the time and doesn\u2019t allow him to sit longer than 11 p.m. Around 10:30, she starts reminding him that it\u2019s time to go to bed.<\/p>\n
He rolls his eyes, argues dramatically, claims she\u2019s ruining his social life and treating him like a baby. Every single night it\u2019s the same performance.<\/p>\n
And once, my parents and sister were invited to someone\u2019s anniversary party, and I stayed with my nephew. We had dinner, and after that we both were busy with our own things. Around 10:40 p.m., while I was scrolling through my phone, my nephew suddenly looked up from the screen and asked, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you remind me it\u2019s bedtime?\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed and said, \u201cI\u2019m not your mother, you\u2019re 12, you\u2019ll figure it out on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at me for a second, genuinely offended.<\/p>\n
And then he replied, \u201cOh, yeah? You don\u2019t care about me, and you don\u2019t care about my eyesight. I\u2019m still a teenager!\u201d<\/p>\n
With those words, he dramatically shut down the computer, made his bed, and went to sleep.<\/p>\n
I sat there in silence afterward, trying to understand whether I had just witnessed manipulation, emotional blackmail\u2026 or a child secretly enjoying being cared for.<\/p>\n
4.<\/p>\n
I was in the subway and witnessed a conversation between a mother and her daughter, a teenage girl about 12\u201313 years old. The train was crowded, loud, people exhausted after work, everyone lost in their own thoughts.<\/p>\n
Her mother said, \u201cWe need to buy you a phone for school, because you drowned yours in the camp. What phone do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n
The girl replied immediately, \u201cI want a Samsung like Paul\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her mother objected, \u201cLet\u2019s buy you something more expensive, because at school all the girls have iPhones, and you\u2019ll have this cheap phone.\u201d<\/p>\n
The girl looked genuinely confused.<\/p>\n
And then she quietly replied, \u201cMom, why would I need an iPhone at school? Someone can steal it, or I\u2019ll be constantly afraid that someone will steal it. Let\u2019s better save this money for Grandma\u2019s dental treatment.\u201d<\/p>\n
For a few seconds, even the noisy subway felt strangely silent.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t hear them anymore because my stop came. But I remember stepping onto the platform feeling like I had accidentally overheard a conversation from another universe \u2014 one where teenagers are wiser than adults.<\/p>\n
5.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like to share a life hack for couples with teenage children. We have 2 teenagers who always fight with each other. Not normal sibling arguments \u2014 real wars. They fight over chargers, towels, cereal, bathroom time, air conditioning, and occasionally over things neither of them even wants.<\/p>\n
By Saturday evening, my husband and I sometimes feel emotionally destroyed.<\/p>\n
But we have a country house which is 15 minutes away from our home. And when these 2 start driving us insane, we just leave for the country house.<\/p>\n
And the kids stay at home with a fridge full of food. It only happens on weekends when they don\u2019t need to go to school.<\/p>\n
No, we\u2019re not running away from them. We always invite them with us, but they refuse because the Internet connection at the country house is terrible. Apparently surviving without Wi-Fi is where they draw the line.<\/p>\n
So my husband and I escape alone.<\/p>\n
An evening without children helps us keep our sanity. We eat snacks that nobody steals from our plates, watch movies without interruptions, drink tea in complete silence, and sometimes just sit on the porch listening to crickets like exhausted survivors after a disaster movie.<\/p>\n
And the funny thing is, the kids actually do better without parental supervision than they do with us: they cook, clean, and even wash dishes \u2014 as long as they have the Internet.<\/p>\n
6.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t forbid anything to my sons when they were kids. Their actions were their own responsibility. If they forgot something, they dealt with the consequences. If they made mistakes, we discussed them calmly instead of punishing them.<\/p>\n
As a result, their rebellion period was surprisingly short, and by the age of 25, they became boring, rational family men.<\/p>\n
Honestly, I didn\u2019t see that coming.<\/p>\n
On Sunday, I call one of them and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go swimming and have a barbeque party.\u201d<\/p>\n
And he answers in the tired voice of a middle-aged accountant, \u201cMy wife and I plan to clean the house and go to the supermarket.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stare at the phone in disbelief.<\/p>\n
I ask the other son where he\u2019s going to spend his vacation, expecting beaches, mountains, adventure.<\/p>\n
And he says proudly that he\u2019ll stay home to install flooring in the hallway.<\/p>\n
Flooring.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally raised two retired men instead of sons.<\/p>\n
Oh, God!! Is it only me who can still ride a bicycle at night at 52, buy ice cream at midnight, and suddenly decide to drive to another city just because the weather feels right?<\/p>\n
7.<\/p>\n
Recently, our teenage son brought a girl home. Blue hair, nose piercing, tattoo of a spider behind her ear, heavy boots, black eyeliner \u2014 the whole package.<\/p>\n
My husband became immediately nervous. I could practically see him imagining our son dropping out of school and joining a rock band by morning.<\/p>\n
But I welcomed the young people warmly, baked a cake for them, and even gave them money for movies and snacks.<\/p>\n
The girl turned out to be polite, shy, and surprisingly sweet. She thanked me three separate times for the cake.<\/p>\n
After they left, my husband began criticizing our son\u2019s choice. He kept saying things like, \u201cNormal girls don\u2019t look like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Without saying a word, I went to the closet and took out our old school photo album.<\/p>\n
Then I showed him my own photos from that age.<\/p>\n
Green hair \u2014 because I had dyed it with brilliant green mixed into shampoo. Nose piercing. Six earrings in each ear. Torn fishnet gloves. At one point I apparently believed I was a vampire.<\/p>\n
My husband stared at the photos in horror while I laughed so hard I almost cried.<\/p>\n
But I grew up. I changed my hair color, removed the piercings, built a career, and became a pediatrician. I don\u2019t smoke, don\u2019t drink, and spend my days helping sick children.<\/p>\n
When we are young, we look for our place in this world. We rebel. We experiment. We make ridiculous choices because we\u2019re trying to understand who we are.<\/p>\n
I will never allow a person to be stigmatized just because they have blue hair.<\/p>\n
8.<\/p>\n
My 15-year-old daughter is friends with a 20-year-old guy. They are just friends. They met on social media because they shared common interests in drawing and video games.<\/p>\n
Naturally, everyone around me acts as if I should panic.<\/p>\n
She tells me constantly, \u201cDad, am I stupid? Dan and I are just friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yesterday, she went to his birthday party with a sleepover \u2014 he lives in the city, and we live in the village. I have nothing against it: I know his address, his and his parents\u2019 phone numbers, and I\u2019ve spoken to them before.<\/p>\n
Still, when evening came, I found myself checking my phone every five minutes.<\/p>\n
Then his mother called me.<\/p>\n
\u201cBlah-blah, Mr. Matthews, don\u2019t worry, thank you very much for trusting our son! Lena will sleep on the sofa in the living room, don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thanked her politely, but after the call ended, I sat there for a long time in the dark kitchen thinking.<\/p>\n
And honestly? The only person I truly trust here is my daughter.<\/p>\n
Because at some point, parenting becomes terrifyingly simple: either you raised your child to make good decisions, or you didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
9.<\/p>\n
Yesterday, my son took me for a walk! He\u2019s a big boy \u2014 almost 22 \u2014 though he temporarily lives with us now while saving money.<\/p>\n
I came home late from work, exhausted and emotionally drained. It was still hot outside, but the evening air had finally become pleasant, and suddenly I desperately wanted to go for a walk.<\/p>\n
My husband didn\u2019t want to. My daughter had gone out with classmates. And I didn\u2019t want to wander outside alone feeling sorry for myself.<\/p>\n
Then my son came home from work.<\/p>\n
I asked him, \u201cLet\u2019s go for a walk.\u201d<\/p>\n
But it turned out he had already agreed to meet his friends later.<\/p>\n
I got upset and half-jokingly said, \u201cTake me with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
And to my surprise, he simply shrugged and said, \u201cOkay, come along.\u201d<\/p>\n
We walked around the neighborhood, then went to eat fast food, and afterward they rented electric scooters. It was my first time riding one, and I screamed the entire first minute while my son and his friends laughed so hard they nearly fell over.<\/p>\n
For a few hours, I forgot about work, bills, age, responsibilities \u2014 everything.<\/p>\n
I went home that night absurdly happy, realizing that one of the greatest rewards of parenting is the moment your children grow up and still choose to spend time with you.<\/p>\n
10.<\/p>\n
My daughter is almost 16. Recently, she came to me in tears and said that I don\u2019t love her because \u2014 attention! \u2014 I control her too little and don\u2019t forbid her anything.<\/p>\n
At first I thought she was joking.<\/p>\n
It turns out all her friends need to go straight home after school, while I let mine go for walks and don\u2019t bother her with calls as long as her homework and chores are done and she comes back by 10 p.m.<\/p>\n
Her friends\u2019 parents choose extracurricular activities for them, while I let her play soccer because she wanted to. But one friend\u2019s mother told her that soccer is \u201cnot for girls\u201d and music lessons would be more appropriate.<\/p>\n
I also don\u2019t check my daughter\u2019s phone and don\u2019t read her social media, but apparently all the other moms do, and they even know all their children\u2019s passwords.<\/p>\n
In general, I\u2019m a terrible mother because I give her choices and trust her judgment.<\/p>\n
The strangest part was watching her cry while accusing me of respecting her boundaries too much.<\/p>\n
Parenting manuals never prepare you for conversations like that.<\/p>\n
11.<\/p>\n
My niece is 14. She recently threw a massive tantrum, screaming that she has an unhappy childhood.<\/p>\n
Because she can\u2019t go out after 8 p.m., she can\u2019t post photos in a bra online, she can\u2019t use her phone at night, and she is \u201cforced\u201d to go to the swimming pool once a week.<\/p>\n
After that, she dramatically promised she would make her mother divorce her stepfather and go live with her grandmother instead, because Grandma \u201cdoesn\u2019t control anything\u201d and \u201cunderstands young people.\u201d<\/p>\n
The girl is just extremely gullible.<\/p>\n
When her \u201cfriends\u201d tell her they can stay outside until 2 a.m. and travel alone to another city during summer vacation, she believes every word like it\u2019s gospel truth.<\/p>\n
And when you calmly ask practical questions \u2014 how did they travel, where did they stay, who supervised them at 14 years old \u2014 she immediately screams, \u201cYou don\u2019t understand anything!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes teenagers don\u2019t actually want freedom.<\/p>\n
They want the fantasy of freedom without any understanding of danger.<\/p>\n
12.<\/p>\n
My daughter is 16 years old. Those who have dealt with teenagers know what it\u2019s like. Every day I hear speeches about how mature she is, how capable she is of making her own decisions, how she demands to be respected \u201cas a person.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes she argues with such confidence that I almost forget she still leaves wet towels on the floor.<\/p>\n
This year, she enrolled in another school specializing in chemistry and biology. The new class teacher is extremely strict \u2014 honestly, even my wife is slightly afraid of her. She is nothing like the daughter\u2019s old class teacher, who had hovered around the students like a mother hen since fifth grade.<\/p>\n
One day, my daughter needed to call her new class teacher about an assignment.<\/p>\n
And suddenly my grown-up, independent daughter \u2014 the fearless fighter for justice and personal freedom \u2014 walked up to me, handed me the phone, and quietly said:<\/p>\n
\u201cDad\u2026 please call Ms. Donovan. I\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nearly laughed, but instead I took the phone and made the call.<\/p>\n
Because sometimes teenagers are like cats: one moment they hiss and demand independence, and the next they crawl into your lap because the world suddenly feels too big.<\/p>\n
13.<\/p>\n
My teenage daughter has learned to bake pancakes. She gets up early, makes the batter, then bakes them \u2014 all by herself. And they\u2019re incredible.<\/p>\n
She makes them with every filling imaginable: berries, fruit, ham, cheese, herbs, potatoes, broccoli, chicken, cabbage, onions\u2026 basically anything she finds in the fridge. Sometimes she even asks us the night before to buy special ingredients.<\/p>\n
Every weekend the smell fills the entire apartment before anyone even wakes up properly.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s all very sweet and heartwarming, of course.<\/p>\n
Except now I\u2019ve gained 6 extra pounds around my stomach and sides.<\/p>\n
The real problem is that every time I say, \u201cNo thanks, I\u2019m on a diet,\u201d my daughter looks disappointed for exactly half a second before quietly saying, \u201cOh\u2026 okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
And immediately I feel like the worst mother alive and end up eating four pancakes out of guilt.<\/p>\n
At this rate, by the end of the year I won\u2019t fit into my jeans \u2014 but at least I\u2019ll know I was loved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Many parents claim that it\u2019s difficult only with infants, and when they grow up, it becomes easier. This is partly true: at least they become independent and parents finally have time to breathe, to sleep through the night, to drink coffee while it\u2019s still hot. But as children grow up, other storms arrive \u2014 teenage […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":26171,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n