Brady had been trying to impress Lizzie for weeks.<\/p>\n
He bought tighter shirts.
Started using expensive cologne.
Even joined a gym\u2026 though mostly to take selfies in the mirror pretending he lifted weights.<\/p>\n
One Friday night, Lizzie invited him over for dinner.<\/p>\n
Brady nearly fainted.<\/p>\n
When he arrived, Lizzie opened the door wearing a silk robe and a teasing smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow\u2026\u201d Brady whispered. \u201cYou look unbelievable.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lizzie smirked.
\u201cRelax, Brady. It\u2019s just dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
But Brady\u2019s imagination had already packed its bags and moved to Vegas.<\/p>\n
They sat down, opened a bottle of wine, and flirted nonstop. Every time Lizzie leaned forward, Brady forgot what he was saying.<\/p>\n
At one point she asked,
\u201cSo\u2026 have those gym workouts paid off yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
Brady puffed out his chest immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, absolutely,\u201d he bragged. \u201cI\u2019m in the best shape of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lizzie raised an eyebrow.
\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d Brady said confidently. \u201cCardio, strength training\u2026 the whole package.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lizzie slowly stood up, walked behind him, and whispered in his ear:<\/p>\n
\u201cGood\u2026 because my bedroom is upstairs\u2026 and the elevator\u2019s broken.\u201d<\/p>\n
Brady nearly choked on his wine.<\/p>\n
Trying to sound cool, he loosened his collar and said,
\u201cLizzie\u2026 trust me\u2026 I can handle anything tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lizzie grinned mischievously.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerfect,\u201d she said.
\u201cThen you can help me carry my new king-size mattress upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Brady stared at her in silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait\u2026 THAT\u2019S what you meant?\u201d<\/p>\n
Lizzie burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
And as Brady struggled to lift one corner of the mattress, sweating like a sprinkler, Lizzie took a sip of wine and delivered the final blow:<\/p>\n
\u201cCareful, gym boy\u2026 your personality weighs less than this mattress.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span>\ud83e\udd23<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Brady had been trying to impress Lizzie for weeks. He bought tighter shirts.Started using expensive cologne.Even joined a gym\u2026 though mostly to take selfies in the mirror pretending he lifted weights. One Friday night, Lizzie invited him over for dinner. Brady nearly fainted. When he arrived, Lizzie opened the door wearing a silk robe and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25332,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n