Some first dates end with a goodnight kiss. Others end with a story you\u2019ll be telling for the rest of your life. These 16 people got the second kind\u2014and honestly, their stories are so unhinged they make Hollywood rom-coms look lazy.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
1.
\nI went on a blind date with a rich man. No profile pics.
\nAs we met, he was handsome and seemed polite but oddly stared at me all night. We talked for 2 hours, then I went to the toilet. When I returned, he was gone. I cried.
\nWhat hit me most was when the waitress leaned in and whispered, \u201cYou have a piece of spinach the size of a Post-it note on your front tooth. Has been there since the appetizers. He kept staring, trying to figure out how to tell you.\u201d
\nI locked myself in that bathroom for another ten minutes. Not crying. Dying.
\nAnd what made it worse was realizing he had probably left without saying anything because he thought I already knew. I still wonder how long he was silently debating it across the table.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
2.
\nMet a guy at the skate park when I was 14, he asked if I\u2019d go out with him the next day. I thought he was gorgeous, and when he said I should dress up, I expected something special. He took me to his little sister\u2019s funeral.
\nI didn\u2019t understand what was happening until we arrived and I saw the casket. The entire room went quiet when we walked in late. He just squeezed my hand like I was supposed to know.
\nI still remember the weight of that silence more than anything he said.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
3.
\nI matched with this guy on an app. The conversations were fun and flirty, so we decided to meet at a coffee shop and see if we vibe in person. He looked exactly like his photos, but something felt off.
\nTen minutes in, he got a text, looked panicked, and ran to the bathroom. He came back five minutes later, cracked a joke, and the ice finally melted. We talked, I started to relax. He was funny and easy to talk to. I thought, okay, maybe this is actually going somewhere.
\nAnd then the waiter leaned in and whispered right in my ear, \u201cBe careful. This guy has a twin. I saw them swap in the bathroom.\u201d I excused myself to the bathroom and left.
\nI didn\u2019t even wait for the bill. My mind kept replaying every sentence he said, wondering which version I had been talking to.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
4.
\nGot a call from a friend of a friend who I thought I\u2019d met once before, asking if I wanted to go out tomorrow (Saturday) night. Sure. Went out to her place about 40 mins away. Realized upon arrival that I didn\u2019t actually know her name.
\nHad dinner, talked, made out a bit, talked about going out again, made out some more, called it a night at around 1 am. Tried several ways to get her to reveal her name, to no avail. Dropped her off at her place, drove home, went to bed.
\nRealized the following morning that she had never spoken my name either, not on the phone or in person. Further realized that I didn\u2019t have her phone number. Called a mutual friend to ask for her number.
\nA mutual friend had no idea who I was talking about. Gave him the address of the girl. Said he didn\u2019t know anyone from that town, and the address wasn\u2019t familiar. Never heard from her again.
\nTo this day, I sometimes wonder if she was ever real or just a strange coincidence I walked into and out of in the same night.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
5.
\nJunior year of high school: parents still didn\u2019t let me date or even go anywhere. I found this completely amazing girl (henceforth named \u201cH\u201d), and I thought, \u201cScrew this, I\u2019m going out with her.\u201d
\nWednesday, after I met her, I told my dad that I\u2019m staying for the poetry club, and he approved. I asked H if she wanted to go to a great coffee shop around the area. She agrees, and off we go. We get to the coffee shop, and everything is great.
\nJust as things started to heat up a bit, my phone rings. It\u2019s my dad, and he tells me that he is already on his way to pick me up. And I immediately start panicking. I tell H about the situation, and she even agrees to run with me back to our school, which happens to be about fifteen streets away.
\nAt that point, I knew I was probably going to be in deep trouble. Both of us sprint past six streets before a bus catches up to us. We get on and ride our way to school. Before we get out, I look out the window, and my heart drops; my dad\u2019s car is parked right in front of the school\u2019s main office. I\u2019m on the verge of having a panic attack.
\nH and I get off about a block away from the school and sneak into it through an open gate in the back. I say goodbye and run to my dad\u2019s car. And so begins one of the most awkward car rides of my life as my dad questions why I\u2019m sweaty and smell of coffee and chocolate.
\nAnd the worst part was knowing he already suspected something, just not how much chaos had unfolded in under two hours.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
6.
\nI\u2019d been seeing this guy for a couple of months, but we never actually went on a date. So this being our first date, we went to get some froyo at Tutti Frutti.
\nHe comes and picks me up, and he brings his mom along. He apparently can\u2019t go on dates unless she comes with him. So we are sitting at our own table, eating, and I lean over to show him something on my phone.
\nHis mom gets up and marches over to our table and grabs my phone, practically shouting, \u201cWhat are you showing my son?!?!?\u201d It was a funny puppy video. I took back my phone, broke up with him, and walked home.
\nThe craziest part was how normal he seemed about it, like this happened on every \u201cdate\u201d he ever went on.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
7.
\nI (44M) matched with a woman via online dating. She\u2019s about the same age. We began communicating on the app, then transitioned to texting and calling. Things were going well, so we began to game-plan for dates\/times we could meet. She lives about an hour away, so it\u2019s somewhat challenging, but not terribly so.
\nAnyway, we were discussing what we did for a living, and I mentioned I am a dentist. She was asking me questions about a recent experience she had with her dentist and was expressing her very common fear of the dentist. Lol.
\nI could tell she wasn\u2019t fishing for a handout, etc., but she was having increasing pain with a particular tooth. I insisted that she get it fixed ASAP, but her work schedule is challenging.
\nLong story short, she came to my office recently (upon my suggestion and upon offering to help), and she needed 2 root canals and 2 crowns, which I ended up gladly doing\u2014on our first meeting. The procedure went very well, and she is so grateful.
\nBut what she didn\u2019t tell me until after the anesthesia wore off was that she had been debating canceling the date entirely because she thought I was \u201ctoo nice to be real.\u201d<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
8.
\nI was supposed to meet her at a restaurant bar for drinks and appetizers. She was 20 minutes late and came in like the Tasmanian Devil, barely said hi, ordered a drink, a seafood sampler appetizer, then disappeared to the bathroom.
\nShe was gone for 15 minutes or so and came back right as her appetizer hit the bar. She basically pounds the drink, houses the appetizer, says she needs to run because she\u2019s meeting friends, then leaves without paying. We barely got past \u201cHi, how are you?\u201d
\nI look at the bartender, dumbfounded, and he says, \u201cMan, I\u2019m just charging you for your drink and considering her a walkout.\u201d I said thanks and tipped him 100%, and left.
\n3 hours later, I started getting nasty texts from her for not paying for her. I guess she and her friends went back later in the night, and they told her to pay for her earlier tab that she walked out on, or wait for the police.
\nWhat shocked me most was that she genuinely thought I had \u201cset her up\u201d by not chasing her out of the bar.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
9.
\nMy date left his retainer on the tray at McDonald\u2019s. Then he remembered he had put the tray in the garage bin. Instead of going through the garbage bag to look for it, he grabbed the whole bag, flung it over his shoulder, and said he\u2019d look for it later, at home.
\nHalfway home, the smell became unbearable, but he still refused to stop because \u201ccommitment means finishing what you start.\u201d I never saw him again after that night.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
10.
\nAn old friend from elementary school asked me out when I was 19 or so. Apparently always had a crush on me. Date was fine, a typical 1993 date dinner and a movie.
\nAt the end, she says, \u201cCall me.\u201d I replied, \u201cI don\u2019t have your number, you call me.\u201d \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll call you.\u201d That\u2019s it. She never called back. No big deal, no heartbreak.
\nA year or so later, I saw her at a restaurant when I was on a different first date. \u201cHi, how are you? \u201cHow dare you, you never called me,\u201d and on and on. \u201cAh, you were supposed to call me, I didn\u2019t have your number.\u201d \u201cOh\u2026 Sorry.\u201d
\nYear and a half later, same girl from the previous date (amazed the previous interaction didn\u2019t scare her off, but whatever). We\u2019re in a mall, \u201cHey, you never called me.\u201d Same response, see above.
\nGoes quiet for a few years, and then Facebook is invented. \u201cFriend request.\u201d I ignore it cause I don\u2019t use Facebook, and, well, see above. A year later, I get a direct message, \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to talk to me, just say so.\u201d
\nAnd so it has gone for decades. Last request on Facebook asked me for my phone number so we could talk in person.
\nOne date, we watched People Under the Stairs, all very wholesome. I\u2019m now in my 50s, and I live in fear of the girl from down the street that I went to elementary school with.
\nSometimes I wonder if the universe is keeping her orbiting my life on purpose.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
11.
\nMet on a dating website and texted nonstop for quite some time. He is a funeral director. I came to his house for dinner and a movie.
\nI pull up to him, standing in his garage with a suit on, holding a roll of duct tape. I honestly thought about driving away. He told me that he just got called out, and I could either go with him to get the body or wait at his house. Um #2 please!
\nHe gives me a quick tour of the house and neglects to mention where the light switches are located. I was in the living room of a split-level house, and I needed to use the restroom. I go upstairs in the dark, feeling everywhere for a switch. Never found one.
\nI go to head back downstairs, and the heel of my shoe gets caught on the 2nd stair. I heard a snap as intense pain ensued. On my way to falling flat, I take out a stupid plant he had on the half wall.
\nSo now on this first date, I am lying in his foyer, sobbing, with the worst sprained ankle ever, surrounded by dirt from the plant. All I kept thinking was that he was going to come home any minute and find this crazy lady lying there. It took about 15 minutes for the pain to subside and allow me to crawl downstairs to get my phone.
\nWhen he got home, I told him what happened. Not sure that he truly believed how much pain I was in until I had to have an MRI the following day. We have been together ever since and will be married in a month or so.
\nAnd even now, he still jokes that I \u201cmade a dramatic entrance into his life.\u201d<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
12.
\nI was walking past a rickshaw one night with a dude and a lady in it, and the lady says, \u201cI always feel bad for these guys, I feel like I\u2019m too heavy.\u201d And instead of reassuring her, the guy says, \u201cOh, don\u2019t even worry about it, these guys could carry a moose!\u201d
\nI think he knew as soon as it left his mouth that he wasn\u2019t getting anywhere on that date.
\nThe silence after that statement was so sharp it almost felt physical.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
13.
\nI matched with a man online. Things were going well, so he offered to meet. He said it\u2019d be a surprise, that he wanted to take me somewhere special.
\nA few days before, a package arrived: a beautiful red dress with a note asking me to wear it on our date. Okay. A little much, but sweet.
\nHe picked me up, and I\u2019ll admit, it felt great. Then he pulled off the road, and I started to panic. It was a cemetery.
\nHe sat down by a headstone and started telling his late wife about me. \u201cDoesn\u2019t she look just like you, honey?\u201d he asked the stone. That specific red dress was a replica of the dress she was buried in.
\nAnd in that moment, I realized I wasn\u2019t on a date\u2014I was part of a ritual he had rehearsed in his head long before he met me.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
14.
\nOn a first date with a woman, and everything is going great, eating, talking, laughing. Halfway through dinner, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
\nShe comes back, sits down, looks at me, and says, \u201cOk, my lease is up in 3 months, so I can move in with you. We can start planning our wedding shortly after that. I was thinking we can have two, maybe three kids, and then you can get fixed.\u201d
\nShe keeps going on for 30 minutes. I\u2019m sitting there with an O_o look on my face as she is eating and talking. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI ain\u2019t even said I love you.\u201d I put an end to that right there and said no.
\nWhat made it worse was how calmly she reacted, like I was the one being unreasonable.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
15.
\nHe arrived in a sharp suit. He looked like a true gentleman. During dinner, he got hot and took off his jacket. Underneath, he was wearing a t-shirt with my face on it that said \u201cFuture Mrs. Miller.\u201d
\nWe had known each other for exactly twenty-two minutes. He said he \u201cjust knew\u201d from my profile pictures.
\nI laughed at first, thinking it was a joke\u2026 until I realized he wasn\u2019t blinking. The rest of dinner felt like sitting across from a decision already made.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
16.
\nMet a guy. Everything was perfect. He was charming and thoughtful. At the end of our first day, he asked if it\u2019d be okay if he took me for a ride, but we\u2019d need to drop off a book at his friend\u2019s place first. I said sure.
\nWe pulled up to a massive backyard BBQ. He got out of the car and shouted his cousin\u2019s name. A guy came running over, took one look at me, and said, \u201cBro. You actually did it.\u201d
\nThen he turned to me, completely sincere, and said, \u201cHe bet us fifty bucks he could get a girlfriend by sunset. We didn\u2019t think he\u2019d actually leave the house.\u201d
\nI didn\u2019t leave. I don\u2019t totally know why. Maybe it was the fact that he looked so genuinely embarrassed that I almost felt bad for him.
\nAt the end of the night he walked me to my car and said, \u201cI know that was a lot. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d I told him the book was actually the most creative thing a man had done to get my attention in years.
\nWe\u2019ve been together for eleven months.
\nAnd sometimes I still catch him looking at me like he can\u2019t believe the bet actually worked in his favor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some first dates end with a goodnight kiss. Others end with a story you\u2019ll be telling for the rest of your life. These 16 people got the second kind\u2014and honestly, their stories are so unhinged they make Hollywood rom-coms look lazy. — 1. I went on a blind date with a rich man. No profile […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":25312,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n