It was Christmas Eve, and after spending the entire day battling crowded malls, impossible parking, and last-minute shoppers, a wife finally stumbled home carrying enough shopping bags to bankrupt Santa himself.<\/p>\n
That night, as she slipped into bed, her exhausted husband noticed something unusual on the inside of her thigh.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait a second\u2026 what\u2019s that?\u201d he asked, squinting suspiciously.<\/p>\n
With a proud smile, she said, \u201cOh, I stopped by a tattoo parlor today. On one leg I had them tattoo \u2018Merry Christmas,\u2019<\/em> and on the other one \u2018Happy New Year.\u2019<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Her husband stared in stunned silence.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy on earth would you do that?\u201d he finally asked.<\/p>\n She grinned wickedly and replied:<\/p>\n \u201cBecause now you can\u2019t complain there\u2019s nothing to eat between Christmas and New Year!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It was Christmas Eve, and after spending the entire day battling crowded malls, impossible parking, and last-minute shoppers, a wife finally stumbled home carrying enough shopping bags to bankrupt Santa himself. That night, as she slipped into bed, her exhausted husband noticed something unusual on the inside of her thigh. \u201cWait a second\u2026 what\u2019s that?\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24794,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n