A lonely widow noticed her handsome married neighbor was always fixing things around his house.<\/p>\n
One evening, she leaned over the fence and smiled,
\u201cHey\u2026 you\u2019re so good with your hands. Think you could come over and fix something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n
He hesitated. \u201cUh\u2026 my wife\u2019s home\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
She winked. \u201cRelax\u2026 it\u2019s nothing that<\/em> serious.\u201d<\/p>\n Curious (and a little nervous), he sneaks over.<\/p>\n She opens the door in a silk robe and says softly, He gulps. \u201cYour\u2026 bedroom?\u201d<\/p>\n She nods and leads him in.<\/p>\n He walks in, flips the switch\u2026 nothing.<\/p>\n So he reaches up, tightens the bulb\u2026<\/p>\n Click.<\/em> The light comes on.<\/p>\n She sighs dramatically, He grins, trying to act cool. Just then, his phone buzzes. It\u2019s his wife:<\/p>\n \u201cSince you\u2019re so good at screwing things\u2026 come home and fix the washing machine.\u201d \ud83d\ude33\ud83d\ude02<\/strong><\/p>\n ……………………………………………………………………………….<\/p>\n \ud83d\udd25 \u201cHe Installed A Fitness App\u2026 It Exposed His Marriage!\u201d \ud83d\ude02<\/strong><\/p>\n A guy in his 40s downloads a new fitness app to \u201cget his life together.\u201d A lonely widow noticed her handsome married neighbor was always fixing things around his house. One evening, she leaned over the fence and smiled,\u201cHey\u2026 you\u2019re so good with your hands. Think you could come over and fix something for me?\u201d He hesitated. \u201cUh\u2026 my wife\u2019s home\u2026\u201d She winked. \u201cRelax\u2026 it\u2019s nothing that serious.\u201d Curious (and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23992,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n
\u201cMy bedroom light hasn\u2019t been working\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWow\u2026 you fixed it so fast.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah\u2026 I\u2019ve had a lot of experience screwing things properly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nDay 1:
\nThe app says, \u201cGreat start! You walked 3,000 steps today.\u201d
\nDay 2:
\n\u201cNice progress! 5,200 steps!\u201d
\nDay 3:
\n\u201cImpressive! 9,000 steps!\u201d
\nHis wife starts getting suspicious.
\n\u201cSince when are you walking THIS much?\u201d
\nHe shrugs, \u201cJust trying to stay healthy.\u201d
\nDay 4:
\nHe forgets his phone at home\u2026 and leaves.
\nFive minutes later, his phone lights up:
\n\u201cWorkout detected: INTENSE CARDIO SESSION STARTED.\u201d
\nHis wife stares at the phone\u2026 slowly raises an eyebrow\u2026 and mutters:
\n\u201cWow\u2026 and here I thought I was the only one not getting any exercise.\u201d \ud83d\ude0f\ud83d\ude02<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"