A farmer was trying to sell his prize bull to a wealthy, sophisticated city woman looking to start a ranch.<\/p>\n
“Is he… energetic?” she asked, eyeing the massive beast with a blush.<\/p>\n
“Lady,” the farmer bragged, “this bull is so virile, he\u2019ll service your entire herd before lunch and still have enough fire left to chase the mailman.”<\/p>\n
The woman leaned in, impressed. “And what exactly do you feed him to keep up that kind of performance?”<\/p>\n
The farmer smirked and pulled a small yellow pill from his pocket. “Just one of these a day. It\u2019s a special herbal supplement.”<\/p>\n
“My goodness,” she whispered. “What does it taste like?”<\/p>\n
The farmer shrugged. “To be honest, it tastes a little like peppermint… but if you\u2019re quick, you can swallow it before the bull notices.”\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n ………………………………………………<\/p>\n Five-Star Performance\u2026 or Free Trial?<\/strong><\/p>\n Brady leaned in confidently and whispered, \u201cTonight\u2026 you\u2019re getting the full five-star experience.\u201d<\/p>\n Thirty seconds later, he rolled over, exhausted.<\/p>\n Lizzie blinked. \u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d<\/p>\n Brady raised a finger. …………………………………………………..<\/p>\n Performance Review Gone Wrong<\/strong><\/p>\n A wife smiled and said, \u201cLet\u2019s do a performance review tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Her husband grinned. \u201cOh, I\u2019m getting promoted, right?\u201d<\/p>\n She crossed her arms. ………………………………………………………<\/p>\n Software Update Romance<\/strong><\/p>\n A woman whispered to her husband, He sighed and turned over.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I just hit \u2018Remind Me Later\u2019?\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ………………………………………………………..<\/p>\n Gym Confidence vs Reality<\/strong><\/p>\n A guy flexed in the mirror and said, His girlfriend smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cCute. Let me know when your performance joins your muscles.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ………………………………………………………………<\/p>\n Romantic Dinner Expectations<\/strong><\/p>\n He lit candles, played soft music, and said, Five minutes later, he was asleep.<\/p>\n She grabbed the blanket and muttered, A farmer was trying to sell his prize bull to a wealthy, sophisticated city woman looking to start a ranch. “Is he… energetic?” she asked, eyeing the massive beast with a blush. “Lady,” the farmer bragged, “this bull is so virile, he\u2019ll service your entire herd before lunch and still have enough fire left to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23176,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\u201cPlease hold\u2026 your free trial has ended.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n\u201cRelax\u2026 you\u2019re still on probation.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n\u201cThink of me as your latest upgrade\u2026 smoother, faster, better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019ve been working out\u2026 I\u2019m built for endurance now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cTonight is all about passion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWow\u2026 even the candles lasted longer.\u201d\ud83d\ude02<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"