It\u2019s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it\u2019s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they\u2019ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend\u2019s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community\u2014but what began as a simple discovery soon unraveled into something far more unsettling.<\/p>\n
She wrote:
\n\u201cMy boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:<\/p>\n
\u2018Dear Steve\u2019s Future Girlfriend,
\nI know it\u2019s you reading this because he\u2019d never clean back here. I\u2019m putting this here because I\u2019m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
\n1-He will not clean;
\n2-He will not listen;
\n3-He will make everything feel like it\u2019s your fault;
\nIt\u2019s not your fault, he\u2019s just an incompetent man. I\u2019m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
\nBest wishes, Natalia’\u201d<\/p>\n
She added:
\n\u201cI read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn\u2019t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he\u2019s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.<\/p>\n
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend\u2019s place\u2014but even as I packed a small bag, I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling that the note wasn\u2019t just a warning\u2026 it was a pattern repeating itself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He\u2019s not wrong that the cleaning hasn\u2019t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this. And now, every kind gesture suddenly felt complicated\u2014like kindness layered over something I hadn\u2019t wanted to see.<\/p>\n
She went on explaining:
\n\u201cHe texted me afterwards saying he\u2019s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it\u2019s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don\u2019t know what to do or what to believe right now. I\u2019m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.<\/p>\n
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don\u2019t know what to trust\u2014especially when his reaction felt less like reassurance and more like deflection.<\/p>\n
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50\/50. Since then, he\u2019s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn\u2019t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he\u2019s had leftover food mold on the plates\u2014and every time I notice it now, I hear her words echoing in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n
She continued:
\n\u201cI\u2019m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn\u2019t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.<\/p>\n
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn\u2019t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I\u2019m letting the note have \u201cconfirmation bias\u201d so no matter what he says I\u2019ll think he\u2019s in the wrong\u2014but the more he dismissed me, the more it felt like point number two on that list was already proving itself true.<\/p>\n
Also, I didn\u2019t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend\u2019s because I didn\u2019t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn\u2019t let me sleep until I let it go. I\u2019m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do\u2014but part of me is afraid of what I\u2019ll notice now that I can\u2019t unsee any of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
\nI\u2019m so glad for you. It wasn\u2019t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I\u2019m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note \u2014 but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he\u2019ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren\u2019t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl!
\nWell, he\u2019s not cleaning, he\u2019s not listening to you, and he\u2019s making it out to be your fault \u201cfor trusting a note over him.\u201d So, it seems the ex\u2019s assessment might be accurate. It doesn\u2019t look like he\u2019s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it\u2019s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn\u2019t learned anything from his last relationship.
\nYou\u2019ve been living together for less than a year, and you\u2019re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these.
\nIt\u2019s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: \u201cHmm, you\u2019re right, I\u2019ll make sure to clean more.\u201d That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he\u2019d rather be right, and he\u2019d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn\u2019t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything.
\nI\u2019d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you\u2019re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it\u2019s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they\u2019ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend\u2019s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":22484,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n