A human rights activist had been “engaged” for twelve years but never seemed to actually make it to the altar. Finally, his lady colleagues cornered him in the breakroom and demanded to know why he was dragging his feet.<\/p>\n
He took a deep breath, looked them in the eye with profound solemnity, and said:<\/p>\n
“Look, I want to marry her, I really do. But as a matter of principle, I simply cannot enter into a union until I\u2019ve conducted a full, independent Human Rights Impact Assessment on the household chores.”<\/p>\n
He sighed and continued:<\/p>\n
“Currently, the negotiations have stalled because I\u2019m demanding a Freedom of Assembly clause for my Sunday football games, but she\u2019s countered with a strict Sanctions Regime on my laundry habits. Until we can reach a consensus that respects the fundamental dignity of my right to nap, I\u2019m afraid the wedding remains under a preliminary injunction.”\ud83d\ude02<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A human rights activist had been “engaged” for twelve years but never seemed to actually make it to the altar. Finally, his lady colleagues cornered him in the breakroom and demanded to know why he was dragging his feet. He took a deep breath, looked them in the eye with profound solemnity, and said: “Look, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22213,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n