I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It imagines a comical encounter in heaven between two women, Wanda and Sylvia, swapping their \u201chow did you get here?\u201d stories over clouds and eternal coffee.<\/p>\n
Wanda goes first. \u201cI froze to death,\u201d she says, surprisingly calm. \u201cAt first it was awful\u2014panic, shivering, pain. But then\u2026 peace. Like falling asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sylvia shakes her head. \u201cGirl, you had it easy. I died of a heart attack\u2014after tearing my whole house apart looking for my husband\u2019s supposed mistress. I checked under the bed, in the closet, even the attic.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wanda sips her celestial latte and smirks: The punchline hits like divine comedy. It\u2019s the kind of twisted hilarity that makes you laugh and groan at the same time\u2014because it’s so absurdly believable.<\/p>\n And speaking of heaven\u2019s sense of humor, here\u2019s another gem:<\/p>\n Four nuns arrive at the gates of Heaven after a tragic bus crash. St. Peter meets them with a clipboard and says, \u201cBefore you enter, I must ask each of you a question.\u201d<\/p>\n The first nun steps forward. The second nun confesses she once held one, \u201cbut only briefly.\u201d Suddenly, the fourth nun shoves her way to the front. It\u2019s the kind of spiritual slapstick that makes you wonder if heaven might actually have a comedy club.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It imagines a comical encounter in heaven between two women, Wanda and Sylvia, swapping their \u201chow did you get here?\u201d stories over clouds and eternal coffee. Wanda goes first. \u201cI froze to death,\u201d she says, surprisingly calm. \u201cAt first it was awful\u2014panic, shivering, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales"],"yoast_head":"\n
\u201cIf you\u2019d checked the freezer, we might both<\/em> still be alive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you ever touched a man\u2019s… you know, \u2018private parts\u2019?\u201d
Blushing, she admits, \u201cJust once\u2026 with the tip of my finger.\u201d
\u201cDip your finger in this Holy Water and you may enter,\u201d St. Peter says.<\/p>\n
St. Peter tells her to wash her whole hand in the Holy Water and lets her through.<\/p>\n
St. Peter, startled, asks, \u201cSister, why the rush?\u201d
She huffs, \u201cBecause if I\u2019m<\/em> going to rinse my mouth, I want to do it before<\/em> Sister Margaret dunks her butt in it!\u201d<\/p>\n