We hadn\u2019t seen Erin in months. When she gave birth to a baby boy, the whole family traveled to celebrate!<\/p>\n
Gifts in hand, I was just as excited to meet the newborn and my goddaughter, Lily.<\/p>\n
Except\u2026 she wasn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Lily?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
Erin froze, glanced at her boyfriend, then shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. I gave her back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2014what?\u201d My stomach dropped.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always wanted a boy. Now I have one. Why would I need a daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt sick. \u201cYou GAVE HER BACK?! She\u2019s a child, not a return item!\u201d<\/p>\n
She rolled her eyes. \u201cRelax. She wasn\u2019t really mine anyway. Just\u2026 temporary.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when I snapped.<\/p>\n
Lily wasn\u2019t temporary\u2014she was also my goddaughter, the little girl who filled the void left by my miscarriages.<\/p>\n
\u201cTEMPORARY?! You let her call you Mom, held her in your arms, and threw her away the second you got your \u2018real\u2019 kid?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Erin scoffed. \u201cShe was a foster kid, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
I was shaking with rage.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, we heard sharp knocks on the door.<\/p>\n
Erin\u2019s boyfriend, Marc, opened it hesitantly. Two women stood on the porch\u2014one older, with kind but firm eyes, and another holding a notepad. Social workers.<\/p>\n
\u201cErin Dalton?\u201d the older one asked.<\/p>\n
Erin blinked, confused. \u201cUh, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to speak with you regarding a formal complaint. May we come in?\u201d<\/p>\n
I stepped back. Erin looked at me sharply, almost accusatory.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you call them?\u201d she hissed under her breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said, truthfully. \u201cBut maybe someone should\u2019ve.\u201d<\/p>\n
They walked in and got right to the point. It wasn\u2019t just that she \u201cgave Lily back.\u201d It was how.<\/p>\n
Turns out, Erin had taken Lily to a temporary care shelter\u2014without informing the agency or following legal procedure. She left her with a handwritten note that said,\u00a0\u201cFound a better fit for our family. Thank you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I felt my knees wobble.<\/p>\n Erin was facing charges for abandonment and potential endangerment. The agency hadn\u2019t been able to locate Lily for over three weeks. She\u2019d been transferred through three homes already, confused, anxious, and asking about her \u201cmom.\u201d<\/p>\n I broke. I asked the caseworker, \u201cIs it too late? To take her in?\u201d<\/p>\n They were cautious but listened. I had been Lily\u2019s godmother, and I had a clean record. The woman with the notepad said she\u2019d bring it up to her supervisor.<\/p>\n Erin just laughed. \u201cGood luck. She\u2019s already damaged goods now. She clung to me like a tick. She\u2019ll probably be the same with you.\u201d<\/p>\n Something in me went cold.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t speak to Erin after that. The visit ended in chaos\u2014my mother sobbing, Marc defending Erin, and Erin storming into her bedroom like a scolded teenager.<\/p>\n But the next few days were different.<\/p>\n I made phone calls. Filled out paperwork. Attended an emergency placement hearing.<\/p>\n And then\u2014four days later\u2014I saw Lily again.<\/p>\n Her hair was messier than I remembered. Her favorite rainbow sneakers were gone, replaced by plain Velcro ones. But when her eyes met mine, she whispered, \u201cAuntie Ria?\u201d<\/p>\n I dropped to my knees and hugged her so tight she squeaked. \u201cYou\u2019re coming home with me, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cI missed you.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s been almost a year.<\/p>\n Lily is still healing. There are nights she asks if I\u2019ll \u201ctrade her too\u201d if I have a baby. I always hug her tight and tell her, \u201cNever. You\u2019re mine. Forever.\u201d<\/p>\n As for Erin\u2014well, karma\u2019s interesting.<\/p>\n Child protective services checked in on her, and let\u2019s just say she wasn\u2019t quite the devoted mother she pretended to be. She\u2019d leave her infant son with Marc\u2019s teenage sister for hours, sometimes days. She wasn\u2019t abusive, just\u2026 disinterested.<\/p>\n Eventually, Marc took full custody and moved out. Erin\u2019s alone now.<\/p>\n We haven\u2019t spoken in months.<\/p>\n I used to cry about the miscarriage, about what I\u2019d lost. But sometimes, you don\u2019t need to give birth to be a mother.<\/p>\n You just need to\u00a0choose<\/em>\u00a0someone. And stay.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve ever felt like someone threw you away, I want you to know this: You are\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0disposable. You are not a phase. And you are\u00a0never<\/em>\u00a0too much to be loved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We hadn\u2019t seen Erin in months. When she gave birth to a baby boy, the whole family traveled to celebrate! Gifts in hand, I was just as excited to meet the newborn and my goddaughter, Lily. Except\u2026 she wasn\u2019t there. \u201cWhere\u2019s Lily?\u201d I asked. Erin froze, glanced at her boyfriend, then shrugged. \u201cOh. I gave […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18520,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reels"],"yoast_head":"\n