ISLAMABAD, SEP 30 (Online): Loneliness is a universal human experience that can affect us as badly as any physical ailment. As the New Year commences, the faded hustle and bustle of the holidays can sometimes leave behind a sense of emptiness and isolation. So how can we overcome it?
\n Share on PinterestLoneliness is a normal human experience, but feeling lonely for too long can harm our health.<\/p>\n
As American writer Fanny Howe says, loneliness is \u201can uninvited and uncreated companion\u201d that \u201cslips in beside you\u201d without notice.
\nPsychologists define loneliness in a number of ways and often split it into categories depending on its duration.<\/p>\n
Essentially, however, most specialists agree that loneliness, though a shared human experience, is an undesired and hurtful emotion that can affect both our physical and our mental health. Recent studies have noted that loneliness can impact how our immune system functions, damage sleep quality, and put us at risk of heart disease.<\/p>\n
A study from last year argued that loneliness \u201csignificantly increase[s] risk for premature mortality,\u201d more so than other health factors.<\/p>\n
A survey targeting adults aged 45 and over in the United States found that approximately one third of respondents identified as \u201clonely.\u201d Reports focusing on children and young adults also indicated that a significant percentage of respondents aged 17 to 25 experienced loneliness.<\/p>\n
Finally, one study that garnered attention in the media alleged that 35 is the age at which men feel the loneliest. In short, it seems that no age group is safe from facing this damaging emotion.<\/p>\n
Since the start of January is apparently the deadliest time of the year, with the fabled Blue Monday \u2014 allegedly the most depressing day of the year, the third Monday of January \u2014 just around the corner, we look at ways of overcoming the sense of loneliness that may affect some us in the aftermath of the winter holidays.<\/p>\n
Even if loneliness doesn\u2019t hit as the New Year parties come to an end, the tools and ideas outlined below will leave you better equipped to fend off this unwanted companion, whenever it may try to seize you by the hand \u2014 or heart.<\/p>\n
Acknowledge and react
\nJohn Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor at the University of Chicago, IL, has specialized in loneliness, why we may experience it, how it can affect us, and what we can do to cope with it.<\/p>\n
In the TED talk that you can watch below, Prof. Cacioppo argues that our society has grown to value individualism and self-sufficiency more and more, which may often push individuals to become isolated and refuse to acknowledge loneliness when they experience it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t hear people talk about feeling lonely,\u201d Prof. Cacioppo explains in the talk, \u201cand that\u2019s because loneliness is stigmatized, the psychological equivalent of being a loser in life or a weak person, and this is truly unfortunate, because it means we\u2019re more likely to deny feeling lonely, which makes no more sense than denying we feel hunger, thirst, or pain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denial, Prof. Cacioppo argues, does nothing but exacerbates feelings of loneliness and may lead to counterproductive strategies, such as seeking further isolation. Thus, the first step toward fighting the negative impact of this emotional state is to recognize that what we\u2019re feeling is loneliness.<\/p>\n
\u201cSecond,\u201d he continues, \u201cunderstand what [loneliness] does to your brain, to your body, to your behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s dangerous, as a member of a social species, to feel isolated, and our brain snaps into self-preservation mode. That brings with it some unwanted and unknown effects on our thoughts and our actions toward others.\u201d<\/p>\n
Prof. John Cacioppo
\nOnce we acknowledge our feelings and understand that they can seriously affect our mental and physical health, as well as our behavior, Prof. Cacioppo advises us to respond to our sense of loneliness by forming and strengthening connections.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne can promote intimate connections by developing [the relationship with] one individual who\u2019s trusted, in whom you can confide and who can confide in you,\u201d he explains. \u201cYou can promote relational connectedness by simply sharing good times with friends and family\u201d without any distractions.<\/p>\n
Finally, \u201c[C]ollective connectedness can be promoted by becoming a part of something bigger than yourselves,\u201d so why not \u201cconsider volunteering for something that you enjoy\u201d?
\nTo help support the mental well-being of you and your loved ones during this difficult time, visit our dedicated hub to discover more research-backed information.<\/p>\n
Lay off social media
\nSocial media may be the first solution that comes to mind when we\u2019re lonely; it seems to be a quick and easy fix. However, many studes have shown that our online networks, although they may offer an illusion of connectedness, actually make us even lonelier and more segregated.<\/p>\n
Share on PinterestSocial media may be our first port of call, but it actually renders us more isolated.<\/p>\n
A study published last year in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that social media users feel more isolated than peers who dedicate little time to online networks.<\/p>\n
In the book Alone Together, social psychologist Sherry Turkle also argues that hyperconnectivity via social media makes us more estranged from each other in our offline lives.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe expect more from technology and less from each other, and I ask myself, \u2018why have things come to this?\u2019, and I believe it is because technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable, and we are vulnerable, we\u2019re lonely but we\u2019re afraid of intimacy,\u201d Turkle explains.<\/p>\n
In order to form a true support network that will help us to keep loneliness at bay, we need to look outside of our computers and handheld devices, and instead strengthen our bonds with family, friends, and community.<\/p>\n
Psychologist Guy Winch advises us to face our fears and uncertainties and take the first step to connect, or reconnect, with others. When we reach out to others, he suggests that we send out positive rather than negative messages, as well as set out clear timeframes for the social event.<\/p>\n
For instance, sending something such as, \u201cI miss you, why don\u2019t we catch up over coffee next Sunday?\u201d is more likely to be effective than, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t even know if we\u2019re friends anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another reason why face-to-face contact is preferable to online contact is simply because humans need physical touch in order to feel comforted and connected, according to Helena Backlund Wasling, of State University of New York Upstate Medical University in Sycaruse.<\/p>\n
Of course, you shouldn\u2019t go about randomly touching strangers on the street, but holding a parent\u2019s or child\u2019s hand, or hugging a friend, could do wonders for our mental health; touch is also a tool for communicationTrusted Source, sending messages about our emotional states.<\/p>\n
A pet may help
\nWhen human contact is not available, it may be useful to enjoy the presence of a furry friend, some studies suggest.<\/p>\n
A study conducted last year discovered that owning a dog can help to reduce the risk of premature death, especially among people who live on their own, who happen to be the group most at risk of experiencing debilitating loneliness.<\/p>\n
Previous research has also found that pet owners may have better social and communication skills and engage more in community activities.
\nAnimals can be great conversation starters, and caring for a pet \u2014 by taking it out for a walk, or to the vet \u2014 can discourage sedentarism, as well as provide an opportunity to meet new people.<\/p>\n
If a larger animal, such as a dog or a cat, seems to be too much of a hassle or too expensive, why not consider a tiny, mostly fuss-free, and much cheaper alternative, such as fish, snails, or insects?<\/p>\n
A 2016 studyTrusted Source revealed that older adults who were offered crickets to look after as pets became less depressed and had improved cognitive functioning within 8 weeks from the start of the experiment.<\/p>\n
Or, you could volunteer at an animal shelter, or offer to look after friends\u2019 and acquaintances\u2019 pets when they\u2019re off on holiday, in order to enjoy the same benefits and improve your social relationships.<\/p>\n
Rewrite the story
\nIf you can\u2019t escape being alone and that makes you feel lonely, then try turning that loneliness into solitude, and use it to your own advantage. When you\u2019re stuck on your own, why not turn that into an opportunity for some \u201cme time,\u201d so you can get to know yourself better, destress, and develop new \u2014 or old \u2014 skills?<\/p>\n
Share on PinterestLearn to cherish your time alone as an opportunity to befriend yourself, first of all.<\/p>\n
One study, co-authored by clinical psychologist Ami Rokach, puts forward that \u201cacceptance and reflection\u201d are one way of turning the negative impact of loneliness into a more positive attitude.<\/p>\n
The authors define this approach as \u201cusing the opportunity of being by oneself and becoming aware of one\u2019s fears, wishes, and needs as the most salient means of coping with loneliness.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rokach and his co-author explain that, when we learn to welcome solitude and use it to our own advantage, we can avoid loneliness and its negative effects.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe results of the present study suggest that solitude (i.e., welcomed aloneness as opposed to loneliness) can aid in coping effectively with the pain of loneliness in that solitude stops attempts to deny loneliness, thereby promoting its acceptance as an existential and, at times, unavoidable human condition.\u201d<\/p>\n
In Addressing Loneliness, researchers from Tel Aviv University in Israel additionally suggest that mindfulness meditation may be useful in this context, as it \u201cmay reduce the subjective feeling of loneliness by reducing maladaptive cognitive functions.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, if you\u2019re alone and loneliness strikes, it might be a good idea to make yourself a cup of tea, put on some relaxing meditation music, and enjoy the opportunity of making friends with yourself first of all.<\/p>\n
\u201cStart thinking of solitude as a good thing. Make room for it,\u201d encourages Turkle in her TED talk, suggesting that learning to be comfortable with just ourselves might help us to break through loneliness and improve our relationships with others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
ISLAMABAD, SEP 30 (Online): Loneliness is a universal human experience that can affect us as badly as any physical ailment. As the New Year commences, the faded hustle and bustle of the holidays can sometimes leave behind a sense of emptiness and isolation. So how […]<\/p>\n
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